The new me ...

So here I am ... the new and improved me ...

This is more or less my natural colour.  One of my favourite dresses.  Standing in my front hall.  Fresh from the salon.

It's been quite a hit.  A few people at work didn't even recognize me ... Interestingly enough, I'm dressing better, wearing makeup, wearing heels at work, and I'm far more confident than I was.  Why?  Because I decided to be.

I got sick and tired of the same old same old.  Tired of the complacency.   So I'll get up and work out in the mornings, eat healthy, stop procrastinating (my biggest downfall) and enjoy my life.

The past few years since Barry's accident, I felt like I was along for the ride.  I wasn't there yet.  I wasn't ready for a big change in my life.  I don't quite know how to explain it.  But now I feel like I'm more on par with where he is at.  Different.  But similar.

And together ... we're unbeatable!  I've always wanted to be a positive role model ... I feel like the stars have finally aligned ... and it's time to make the most of my life.

I hope you'll join me as I make improvements to my life ... and hopefully bring a little joy to yours.

SOS

It's time for a change.

I'm not really sure what's happened to me this week.  It feels like I've reached a crossroads in my life. I feel like I've been stagnant for months.  I feel like I've been in overdrive since April.   I need to slow down, to take more time for me, to do the things for myself that make me happy.

Don't get me wrong, spending hours outside, in the fresh air and sunshine and nature all around makes me happy.  But it's been a huge amount of work this year.  We've probably been more social than any year past and I wouldn't trade it  ... but it's time consuming and, quite frankly, tiring when it's ever weekend for months on end.  I need some down time.

So I've made some decisions.  I'm changing my look.  I'm changing my discipline when it comes to nutrition and workouts.  I'm getting off the couch, away from the TV and on the computer and reading more often.  Although I have to admit, my TV time at night is my way of decompressing from a long, tiring, mentally taxing day.  I can shut my mind off.  I'm going to stop procrastinating and get back to making sure the house is organized and things don't get put off.  Like cutting up veggies so we have fresh veggies to eat.  Like painting my toenails (it took me 2 weeks to paint my nails ... every day saying I would do it and not) so I'm not ashamed for people to see my feet.   I'm changing the way I attack my job.  I've let fear and lack of self confidence cripple me for far too long. 

In short, it's time to get control of my life.  Of our finances.  Of my career.  Of my body and my health.  I am, however, keeping my most wonderful husband ... I couldn't do any of this without him.

So .... say goodbye to this look (profile pic) .... and be prepared to meet the "New Sandy" ... she will be revealed soon.

I miss you Mom ....

Now don't go getting worried about me or feeling too bad for me.  Yes, I miss my mom.  She died 3 years ago today.  I was so happy for her.  She had a laundry list of health issues and the last 4 1/2  years of her life were spent in a nursing home.  She had vascular dementia (not as bad as alzheimer's but I still couldn't take care of her at home).  Toughest decision I have EVER had to make was to put her in a nursing home ... the place she vowed she'd never go to.  I felt like such a bad daughter .... but I knew I was doing what needed to be done for her to keep her safe and well cared for.  And, quite frankly, to keep my sanity.

I probably have a little different view of illness and death than a lot of people.  I can thank my sister partly for that, for which I'm grateful.  Not that I'm ready to lose anyone else close to me but when it's time, it's time.  Mom was 80.  She had a lot of health issues but there's something about that generation ... they're far hardier than the younger generations (mine included I think).  She just kept going and going like so many of them.

I shall have to scan a couple of my favorite pics of my mom and post them.  Maybe in my "wedding" post.  We got married before digital cameras were common (or affordable) so everything is in print.  I'll have to work on that as soon as I have a few hours to devote to it.

I will admit it ... today was a little rough.  I started tearing up when I thought about her too much.  But I know she's in a better place, finally joining the rest of her family.  Mom ... I trust you are dancing your heart out ... listening to music all the time ... doing the things you loved to you.

Love you!

I have the best (blogging) friends

I am so blessed to have met some amazing people in this community.  My cheering squad.  The people who always support me, always lift me up, always love me even when I'm not the most consistent.

Thank you. I love you more than words can say.