Perspectives

"The meaning of life is to live a meaningful life." author unknown

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We received word today that one of our consultants, who was visiting family in the Phillipines, died of a heart attack.  He was only in his 50's.  My heart goes out to his family.  I only hope that his wife and children (if any) were with him and not here.  I really don't know much about him ... only dealt with him a few times.

But this news had provoked a comment from one of my teammates.  She said "if you're born human, you're cursed".  She said humans are born to die.  I laughed.  I didn't mean to be flip or disrespectful.   Her statement simply caught me off guard and that's unfortunately how I react sometimes.  She got a little testy and was quite serious.  She's been going through, I don't know what the last few months.  Maybe it's perimenopause.  Maybe one of her family members if very sick.  I don't know.  I mean, we've worked together for 4 years now.  We've been through a LOT together.  I wish she would talk to me.  But her ramblings are getting challenging to follow.  I've asked her a few times if everything is ok; she says yes. 

Apparently she wasn't happy with her review or her bonus.  Hell, I was shocked we even GOT one.  Especially since we're an American owned company and 2009 was not kind to the real estate market, although commercial (that's what I'm in) fared somewhat better.  I just thrilled ... was it an awesome bonus ... of course not.  Will it help pay for some stuff?  Absolutely.  Hence my little shopping spree.  And I know, I know, I still have to post outfit pics.  Unfortunately living up here in the great white north we don't get a whole lotta sunshine.  It's pretty much dark when I leave and dark when I get back from work.  I promise .. this weekend.

But I digress (shocking I know)She asked me if I believe in Karma.  I suppose to some extent I do, in that what goes around comes around.  I think you get what you give.  Maybe not right away, but eventually things will catch up with you, good or bad.

My main philosophy though is, yes, we're born and eventually we're all gonna die.  But man, what's in between is what we make it.  We can choose to be fatalistic and to worry about the future, about stuff that may or may not happen (jobs, health, whatever) and be negative or you can choose to live life to its fullest.  To be the best possible you that you can be.  To be someone you want to know; someone you want in your life.

I'm perplexed her by attitude.  I don't understand.  Perhaps I didn't give her a chance to explain.  But she's become so dogmatic about things, so confrontational, I don't get it.  She's always been so nice.  She's been a lot of fun.  I miss my old teammate.  Of course I've changed a lot in the past year, but I know it's for the better.  I went through a LOT of crap for a couple of years.

But all I can do now is be me.  Happy, content, full of life and love and hope for the future, that things will get better all around for everyone.  Is there a lot of suffering in this world?  Of course.  Do I feel for these people?  Of course I do.  Would I make their lives better if I could?  You bet.  But I can't let things that I have no control over run (and ruin) my life.

Perhaps our consultant's death is a reminder to us to live life to its fullest.  To laugh and rejoice and to treat each other with love and respect.  I'm not sure what's gotten into me lately.  I have been SO emotional ... good and bad.  I teared up reading Jennifer's last comment (here I go just thinking about it); Barry's last post was awesome.  If you don't follow him and want to watch something joyous, click here.  And of course there's Haiti.  That makes me cry a lot when I watch footage. 

So I do what I can to make people's lives a little brighter.  You, my blogging friends, make my life a lot brighter.  I look forward to your posts and your comments. 

And Diane, great comment on my last post.  You are one of the classiest, most awesome people I've "met" in a long time.  You are my inspiration.