Thursday, September 30, 2010

Day 5 of 84 - We can breathe now!

You know that situation I've alluded to?  It's finally resolved!  And we can breathe again.  We've both felt that we've been holding our breath for about the past 5 weeks.  We (me, actually) had gotten into a financial mess.  We were one step away from refinancing a couple of weeks ago.  Then someone pulled the rug out from underneath us.  That's when the stress got out of control.  But I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason.  We're in a better position financially now than we would have been if the original plan had gone through.  So now it's back to life!
I bought myself a pair of Reebok Easytone shoes.  My other runners were dead.  A while ago.  And I love to walk but haven't been able to because my old runners had lost their support and it was doing more damage than good.  And I've been waiting for the refinancing to go through before spending just over $100 on a pair of runners.  So I got them tonight.  WOO HOO!  I was intrigued by the Easytones.  I didn't know whether they were just another gimmick or not.  They're supposed to improve your glutes and hamstrings.  here's the trick tho.  You actually have to be active and eat healthy too.  By themselves, just walking a little here and there ... yeah, nothing.  But combined with everything else ... we'll see.  The jury's out but I thought it would be great to try them.  They do keep me a little off balance (like I need any help in THAT department!) and my legs feel a little stimulated.  So I'm going to wear them for my cardio workout tomorrow and see how it goes.  But I'm pretty sure I'm keeping them.  How exciting!
We went out to Kelsey's for dinner tonight.  I remember why I don't eat like that any more.  'cause I can't.  I should be in bed sleeping by now (its 10 pm)  ... I'm on my way there after I finish this post ... but less than an hour ago, I felt like a stuffed pig.  I can't do this any more.
Other than dinner, my nutrition wasn't bad today.  except for too much coffee.  I missed my upper body workout this morning.  Lack of sleep.  Yes, I wimped out.  But I'll be up tomorrow bright and early to do my cardio workout in my new shoes!  YAY!  I haven't updated my journal in the last couple of days either.  But I don't care!  Things have settled and I will get back at it tomorrow.
So remember to stay active, eat healthy, breathe, drink lots of water, get sufficient sleep, and remember you're special and loved and deserve the very best that life has to offer!
Until tomorrow.....

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Day 4 of 84 - Complacency

I had a conversation with someone which kept me awake a lot last night.
She said something's changed lately.

It hit me this morning that I've gotten complacent in numerous areas of my life

Including my workouts, blogging, gardening and even my job.

I guess that's why I "reset the button" on my workouts and started back at Day 1. I had already started to feel re-energized. I know, its all in my head but unfortunately its the biggest influence. So I upped the intensity of my cardio workout this morning and I feel great, despite the lack of sleep.

Gardening ... Hmm. This is not unusual for me in September. By March I'll be rarin' to go and out in my winter jacket cleaning up but by September I'm either tired or bored. I'm not sure which. But the plan for this weekend is to spend it out front, rearranging the plants.

Blogging ... It's pretty obvious that I haven't been too into it lately. Nothing to do with you, just my head. September tends to be a bad month for me. Too many deaths or major health issues occurred in September. But that's no excuse for ignoring you. You help me, encourage me, make me feel like a make a difference ...

As for work, I had really been enjoying myself, feeling like I've been making progress but I'm too easily affected by other people's attitudes that its dragged me down.

So, I've already kick started my workouts. I've joined facebook which oddly is keeping me blogging more. Gardening ... a plan is in place. Work ... I'm going to ignore the negative attitudes around me and just be myself ... Confident, capable, positive. Maybe I'll rub off on a few people.

I hope you have/had a great day.

Btw .. Despite the lack of sleep, I had a great workout,

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Day 3 of 84 - Determination

Since joining Facebook and the flurry of activity that's ensued, when the alarm went off this morning, I was confused.  I'm not sure exactly what I thought it was, but I kept hitting the snooze button.  To the point where it was late by the time I figured out that it was actually the alarm going off and not some notification on FB.

So I sat up in bed with my legs hanging over the edge and had a conversation with myself.  It's a familiar conversation.
Motivated Me - Time to get up
Sleepy - Don't wanna!
MM - Get your ass out of bed
Sleepy - Don't wanna!
MM - Do you want to stay where you are or do you want to achieve your goals?
Sleepy - FINE!  (pouts)  I'll get up and work out.  So there!

So I got up and worked out.  Had a good leg workout ... helped work out some of stiffness from working in the garden on Saturday.

The rest of the day was kinda crappy and I ate OK but tomorrow's another day.

BTW - I've started reading the blogs of people who have/had a tremendous amount of weight to remove.  These people have truly inspired me to get my butt out of bed and to keep working toward my goals.  I got a little complacent and that's never a good thing.  But I have to succeed at this.  My job is kinda on the line. I have to stay healthy or our finances are REALLY going to tank. 

But I won't let that happen.  I will get/stay healthy.  I will remove the fat that's weighing me down.  I will be the best "me" that I can be!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Day 2 of 84 - I've gone to the dark side ....

What a day!  Yesterday I joined Facebook.  Today my email has been buzzing like crazy.  I resisted for the longest time but finally decided that what the hell ... so many of our friends and family are on it that it seems to be the only way we can view pics and it's an easy way to keep up on what's happening with people.  It's also a great glimpse into peoples lives that you might not see otherwise.

We took the day off today to deal with some personal business, not all of which was resolved.  By week's end, all will be good again.

So I did well today ... worked out this morning, ate healthy all day, even made a chicken stir-fry for dinner with some basmati rice.  Unlike some days when I'm off, I didn't snack all day which is great.  I'm feeling much better about my journey and feel like I've finally recommitted.

I did wake up this morning feeling like I was fighting something but I'm feeling somewhat better.

I do hurt from yesterday's workout tho' which is great ... I love that stiffness after a good workout. 

Have an awesome week everyone ....

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Day 1 of 84 ... It's time to get serious.

I keep a calendar in my home gym and every day I do a workout I put a diagonal line through the date.  If I eat healthy and follow my plan it gets another diagonal line and if I practice the "universal law of reciprocation" otherwise known as inspiring and lifting others up, I get a straight line through the date, all to make a "star".  There haven't been many stars this month.  It's been a very stressful several weeks and before that it was wedding stuff and OMG it just never stopped.

Things are starting to calm down and get straightened out and the gardening is almost done for the season.  The big renovation is next weekend (pray for dry weather for me, will ya?).  I really need to get this done. 

So I decided last night that it was time to get serious.  I don't want to go into 2011 in the same shape I'm in.  So I decided to weigh myself, take my measurements and have my pics taken.

So here I am in all my glory ....

Can you tell where my issue is?

My weight was 217
Bust - 46
Waist - 41
Tummy - 47
Hips - 43

These are almost EXACTLY the same measurements as I took in April.  I know I went up a bit because my tummy (largest part of my trunk) was 49 at one point a couple of months ago and I've come back down.  It's amazing how quickly it goes up but it comes back down almost as fast once I put my mind to it.

So ... having done all that and set my goals, the 12 weeks ends Dec 18 2010.
My goals for the next 12 weeks are:
  • Lose 10 pounds
  • Wear a size 12 (I'm going to say from Reitman's since that's where I get all my clothes right now and the size is consistent)
  • Lose 3" off tummy
  • reduce caffeine intake to espresso in the morning
  • be able to walk up 60 flights of stairs at home.  I'm starting with 5 flights today and will increase 1 flight per day.  Then I'll work on the amount of time it takes me to do that. 
So there you have it.  I am tired of not making the kind of progress I know I can make.  I'm actually kinda glad I've stabilized for a while.  I'm more determined now to achieve the above goals.  My nutrition is my biggest obstacle.  And keeping my stress down but that should get resolved this coming week.

Thanks for all your support.  I know I haven't been very consistent lately.  To make matters worse (or perhaps better), I finally joined the world of Facebook.  God help me.

Hope you're having an awesome day ... I'm off to do some weeding in the bank and cleaning up before the cold weather really hits.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Making time for making love

I was standing in line at Tim Horton's today and there was a man and woman (friends and/or co-workers) and they were talking about how intimacy and making the time to make love has become an afterthought for so many people, especially married couples. Its even worse for couples with kids. She was talking about the fact that her and her hubby have different schedules. She gets up early and goes to bed early; he gets up late and goes to bed late. Man, does THAT ever sound familiar!

Barry, like so many men, likes loving in the morning ... he wakes up fresh and rarin to go; I'm usually thinking about everything I need to do that day. I usually get rather amourous at night. The day is done and I can relax; no commitments, nothing pressing needs my attention. By the end of the day Barry's tired and just not that enthusiastic. Hence why we could go months without making out. How sad is that. But he never cheated. And he loves sex. Have I married an amazing man or what?  I'm not sure what I did right to deserve him...

Now we make the time whether its convenient or not. We figured out that right after work, after we've had our showers, is the best time and our relationship is better than ever.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I wanted to remind you to make the time. Its tough when you both work, there's chores ... Dishes, laundry, housework .... And then if you have kids its even worse. And for women, sex can become one more thing on their "to do" list. And when you're running and running and everyone wants a piece of you and you give and give and give and then there's nothing left of you by the end, its so easy to feel like making love with your partner is just one more piece of you but you don't have anything left so your partner gets "put on a shelf" and then the bickering and nitpicking starts and before you know, you're fighting and you drift apart and then you either split, live like siblings or one (or both) cheats (deep breath).

So make sure you make the time to make love.  It should get better with time, not become a duty or "one more thing that needs to be taken care of".  Life's short.  And difficult.  And precious.  And so wonderful.  Make the most of your life. 

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Getting back on track

As I mentioned yesterday, I haven't worked out in almost 10 days and I'm definitely feeling it. I tend to wear a lot of "comfort fit" aka stretch material. Today I needed a skirt and the only available one is made of stretch material but it's lined. And the lining definitely isn't stretch. Its reminded me of how little progress I've made lately. And that is totally NOT acceptable!

I was starting to get down on myself ... again ... for slacking. But then it occurred to me this morning that I really needed the rest. I was waking up at 415 every day, trying to get up for a workout but it wasn't happening. I couldn't keep my eyes open.

We have been so stupid busy for so long it dseems, plus the financial stress we're under ... plus working out stresses the body (which is why good nutrition and appropriate rest is so important) ... I probably would have ended up sick (that was the old me).

My point? Sometimes we need a break. If you've been going a mile a minute for a prolonged period of time and are heaading for illness, take a break from the workouts. Continue to eat healthy, get out for walks, drink lots of water and get plenty of rest.

Just make sure its a few days, NOT a few weeks or months. Then get back to it and hit it harder ... You'll be well rested and able to handle a tougher workout.

Bill talked about inertia and how launching a rocket uses 90 percent of its energy (ditto for a train) but once moving, it requires litle energy. Think of the energy as being your motivation. It takes a lot of motivation to start a workout program ... Much less to keep it going. But if you stop for too long, it takes a lot of motivation (energy) to get moving again.

Would it be nice to get an extra hour sleep every day? Absolutely! Do I want to stay fat and uncomfortable? Hell no!

Monday, September 13, 2010

"Sunday" Update

I know, its Monday. We had this incredible weekend which didn't end until late yesterday.

A number of months ago, I was "introduced" to an incredible woman who goes by HHL. If you haven't visited her blog, Falling off a High Heeled Life yet, please do so. It will definitely put your life in perspective, inspire you, make you laugh and make you cry.

Our weekend started pretty rough with a very emotional Friday. Saturday started to look up. We won't know much until at least Thursday.

Typical me (and I really have to break this habit) because I was stressed I "needed" more sleep and I didn't work out last week ... And yes, I'm really feeling it. I did work out Sunday a.m. but missed today because we were late getting to bed. Dinner at 830 isn't very condusive to going to bed at 10.

So we had made arrangements for HHL and Mr. G to come visit. They arrived later than originally planned but that was fine with us. Gave us a little down time. At least our house is clean now (company always spurs us on to clean and tidy the house lol). We toured the gardens and chatted. Then we went into the house, I made lattes (they were so sweet ... brought donuts and wine (no, we did not consume together .... Ugh)). Anyway, we sat and chatted and they shared more of their story. We were so mesmerized we didn't realize it was 7 (they were supposed to leave around 6) and we just kept talking. They finally left just after 8. We had chatted away almost 5 hours and it felt like maybe 2. We have a number of common interests and they are this incredible couple and it was just easy to spend time together. Next time, their place.

My alarm went off at 415 .... re-set it to 515. I was going to go for a walk at lunch but I didn't. That's what kept me going last week. I have 4 weeks left for this "challenge". .. By cutting this down to 12 week increments, it really helps me focus instead of looking at this weight loss journey in one big, overwhelming project. It's the old "how do you eat an elephant??? One bite at a time".

Today was a complete write off.  I was so tired today and didn't have appropriate food to get me through the day but dinner was good and tomorrow's another day. Gotta get some sleep tonight.
So how was your weekend?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Turning Negative Energy into Positive

Despite all the fun we've been having surrounding the preparations for the wedding and other events, we've had some setbacks.  It just seemed llike things were starting to mount up on the negative side.  And it was getting really hard to take.  Incidents that happened Tuesday night and Wednesday morning almost put me over the edge (of which I seem to be teetering on quite regularly).

But after the setback this morning, I got thinking about things and remembered that negative energy attracts negative energy.  So I decided on my way into work, that the negative energy was banished from my life.  I will not accept it.  It's been said, "it's not what happens to you it's how you handle it".  I temporarily forgot that .

So I channeled positive energy all day and so far it looks like things are turning around.  I'll know more in the next day or so but I refuse to accept any more negative.

I tend to wallow, as many others do.  I'm not sure why.  Human nature perhaps?  When I'm really stressed, I lose all energy, all ambition and all my resolve to eat healthy, stay active, blog, whatever.  Instead of just taking things in stride, I get so bent out of shape.  This doesn't always happen.  When one thing happens, I jsut brush it off.  When another thing happens, I let it go.  But when it keeps piling up, I lose my perspective and my resolve.

Finances have been such a disaster recently.  Barry had made a statement on one of his posts that just because people seem to be doing well, doesn't necessarily mean they are.  Sometimes it's just a level of indebtedness.  I think financial stress has got to be the worst.  Especially when you own a house.  And when you're trying to keep up appearances that everything is ok when it's not.  When there are commitments up the wazoo that you can't keep up with.  The wedding was amazing but quite frankly it was a HUGE financial burden.   But things are looking up and I will continue to channel positive energy and we will be fine.

I simply won't accept anything less.

So just remember ... when things are getting you down, if you can focus your mind on the positives in your life instead of the negatives, things will get better.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Weekly Update

Wow, the past little while has been so hectic, so emotional.  I'm sorry I haven't been too consistent in posting or commenting.  Work is crazy and by the time I get home I'm not as inclined to sit at the computer and think. 

So the wedding arrived, was AMAZING, awesome party ... I LOVE West Indian people and now I've got a bunch in my family.  Woo hoo!  Here's the happy couple ...

Barry and I .....

I'm very happy to report that I not only got into my dress, it looked great.  I hope to get a pic of Barry and I soon.  I did find a gorgeous pair of basic champagne colour pumps that were so comfy and a clutch which was a little lighter than the pumps and with a little bling (girl's gotta have some bling you know).

Barry was an amazing MC, we danced our butts for for quite a while ... Soca, reggae, top 40, Irish music, and then he started into the Indian music and it went all to hell.  I must admit tho, the first half of the night was fabulous ... we didn't sit down for the longest time.

The venue was beautiful, unfortunately we had to have it inside, but they got lots of pics outside (about 900 pics altogether), everyone had a great time.  I paid for all my fun ... little sleep, legs were SO stiff ... haven't fully recovered yet.  So worth it!

me at the end of the night ....

We saw family we haven't seen in far too many years ... it's really kind stupid ... everyone had a great time.  The bed was fabulous ... King sized bed ... REALLY comfy ... too bad I didn't spend much time in it.  The bride and groom treated us to brunch the next day ... the food was fab, the company awesome as usual.

The rest of the weekend I have chilled ... been downright lazy actually.  Finally caught up with my sis.  
This coming week is busy, but not excessively so.  I'm really looking forward to this coming weekend.  I'm starting the garden renovation and we're finally going to meet one of my absolute favourite bloggers who lives in the area.  I can't wait!

So tonight I do my journals for this week .... tomorrow morning I do my workout.  The end of the current 12 weeks is Oct 9th.  My sis is doing amazing with her weight loss.  I've got a month to make some more progress so we can celebrate together.  Then my next big goal will be Christmas.  I'm taking it in small chunks.  They're do-able.  Next summer ... bikini.  In the meantime ... smaller goals on a steady basis.  Time to get REALLY serious about this.

Here's to family, friends, health, good times and a fabulous life!


Saturday, September 4, 2010

A drowned rat .....

Every Thursday after work I like to go to our local farmers market.  It's a little more expensive but the quality is higher and its helping to support our local farmers.  Very important....

When I got off the GO train this Thursday, the sky was looking a little ominous and of course Barry was running late 'cause traffic was worse than normal.  So I watched the sky.  And waited.  He finally arrived and we had to stop at the bank.  So I was walking back to the car and saw a bolt of lightening in the near distance.  Of course traffic along the road to the market was super slow (it runs parallel to the highway). 

We get to the market, just arriving at our usual stand (he's got the most gorgeous eyes and this wicked dimple in his chin.  I rarely get past that.  Nice smile too and very friendly.  So while Barry gets home made chocolate chip cookies from the stand next to where I am, I order some fruit and get some veggies.  I think I was there for about 2 minutes, the sky getting blacker by the moment.  Then it was splat, splat, soak.  The rain was coming down in sheets.

As was I wearing dark colours??? heavier fabric???? don't be silly ... it was bloody hot and humid out.  I was wearing a very thin, beige tank top and an even thinner sheer skirt (also beige) which thankfully had a black lining.  Luckily I was wearing runnning shoes.  Because I was standing rigth at the edge of the tent (on the WRONG side of course ... with the torrential rain and heavy winds, the water accumulated in the tent and then splashed all over the bad half of me.    It was raining so heavy, I was drenched inside of a minute.

And I do mean drenched.  I doubt there was anything left to the hottie's imagination.  He even lost track of what I owed him.  It was a little chaotic, the winds were whipping, the tent damned near blew away ... I think that had more to do with his losing his train of thought.  I couldn't get any wetter.

Barry grabbed the bag of food and ran to the car while I sorted out what I owed him.  Then I took off for the car but by that point, what difference did it make how long it took me to get to the car.  Of course the car seats are fabric so they got soaked.

We got into the house, closed the front door and off came my skirt, my top and my runners.  My unmentionables had to be rung out they were so soaked.  I hit the shower and got back to my "normal" state of being.

This morning, the towels that Barry put on the car seats last night were really set.  I thought the car seats were dry.  Thankfully today I was wearing a dark denim skirt because my butt was wet by the time we got to the GO train.  Thankfully nobody could tell.

Will that teach me not to push it with the weather?   P:robably not.

Happy Saturday!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Life never stays the same ....

Barry recently posted on all the changes that have been occurring in our lives. Most of you read him too so I won't regurgitate.

But I am adding one more thing to my list. I have been working 8:30 to 4:30 for years and years. I decided, for several reasons, to switch my hours to 9-5. Which means I'll be taking a different train home at night. It will actually be one of two trains. Which wouldn't normally be an issue but I have this crew that I've been travelling with for some time now and I'm really going to miss them.

Over the past couple of years I've probably collected about 8 people, but only 3 are regulars. Jackie, Steve (he's become one of the girls) and Terry are almost always on the train. Bebe is a semi-regular as is Franca. Kandi was a regular but now works earlier hours. Mercy was a regular but tomorrow is her last day cauz she's pregnant and having a tough time. And then there was Heather. She's been gone for quite a while but what a hoot. I'm sure the rest of the regulars will miss me only because it'll be much quieter now. We're not really loud, we just laugh a lot .... Especially me. But we all live in the same town and I have most of their email addresses. I hope to keep in touch. I don't like losing friends.*sniff, sniff*

What this does do, though, is give me an opportunity to meet new friends and give me a chance to catch up on emails and writing my posts which I do in the morning but my morning travel partner is coming back next week! YAY!

I would be remiss if I didn't mention my two men LOL. #1 eye candy .... OMG there's something about him! I haven't seen him this week :( I'm not sure if he knows that I even exist. Then there's #2. He definitely knows I exist. We did the whole catching glance then, then it was the head nod, and we finally started saying "hey, how's it going". I will definitely miss them both.

I know ... I'm married. .... Very happily. But I ain't dead yet. And although Barry might not broadcast it, he does every bit as much looking and drooling as I do. We tell each other. No biggy. He's just quieter about it. That's not my personality.

So here's to changes and new adventures.


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Sometimes the Past Comes Back to Haunt Us.

Its kinda scary how the past sneaks up on us sometimes.

Barry got a little worked up yesterday. His imagination was getting the better of him. So we were getting into things and he was a little more aggressive than usual but no more than he has in the past. I was chuckling at first cauz I kinda knew what he was thinking about. But then I started feeling a little out of control and just not ready. I thought it was because I thought he would have rather been with my friend then rather than me. I didn't say anything all evening cauz I thought I was overreacting.

Then I realized that it wasn't Barry;s aggressiveness, nor who he was fantasizing about (cauz she is not only hot but incredibly sweet) but rather it took me back to that night with the juiced up bouncer ... My closest encounter with date rape.

Now in the past I would have continued to stew rather than address the issue and talk about it. I knew Barry would NEVER want to hurt me but I didn't give any indication that there was a problem.

So when I went to bed, I opened up and told him how I felt. I know he felt really bad and it had nothing to do with his intentions or what he did. It was a set of circumstances that just got out of control. He made me promise that if I ever start feeling that way, I would speak up and ask him to slow down.

The reason I'm sharing this? Because I know there's far too high of a percentage of women who have been abused, raped, etc., who have had really bad sexual experiences. And I just wanted to encourage you to speak up. Chances are that if you're with someone steady, he'll understand if you get freeked out. It's so important to share that experience with someone you're involved with because you never know when the past is going to rear its ugly head.

As I said before, its so very important to talk to someone if you've experienced any type of abuse or even just a sexual experience that left you scared and feeling out of control.

And if you need someone to talk to, just drop me a line @ I can't fix it, I just lend an ear and give you my support.

We have to learn to take care of ourselves and each other.

Hugs to all