Friday, July 31, 2009


We finally made it! Workout was tough this morning ... no energy. Got a nice surprise at work though. I got to leave at 11:30. Woo hoo!

Trying to keep on track. Fridays are my toughest day it seems for staying on track with the whole nutrition thing. Speaking of which ... I'm starting a new nutritional program. Very similar to body for life, but a little more specific.

I just want to hide downstairs with the TV and a big bag o' chips. But I won't. I've been fighting too hard to get where I am ... although days like today I wonder if I'm actually continuing to make progress. I feel like I've plateaud (sp?) I know everyone does from time to time. That's one reason why I'm shaking up my nutritional program. Just trying to keep my body off balance. My workouts will change effective Sunday too. Kick it into gear. I think I'm a little low in my normal water consumption, but I probably drink more than most. I think I need these changes mentally as well. Keep me from getting into too much of a rut. Ruts are very bad for fitness programs.

So enjoy what is supposed to be a beautiful weekend. I'll be in touch on Sunday. Although I'll likely update my gardening blog tomorrow. Plan on having lots to report.

Enjoy the long weekend!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

one more day ...

Today was a pretty good day ... for the most part.
Had a great workout ... nutrition was good for the most part. Went to lunch with my department to a Thai buffet but since I can't eat a lot at one time, I just had a tablespoon of numerous items. Of course I blew it at dinner.

I witnessed a car accident just outside the Ajax GO station tonight. A motorcycle got cut off by a car, tried to swerve to avoid the car and ended up hitting the pavement. As usual, I'm fine in an emergency but then react when it's over. I had been waiting for Barry to pick me up but he couldn't get to me so I ended up giving my statement to the police. That's when the tremors started. Haven't felt quite right all evening. Which is why we ended up at Quiznos.

BTW - SYTYCD - WTF????? I mean really .... EVAN??? KAYLA???? there is no justice in this competition ..... But that doesn't matter 'cause either Brandon or Jeannine has to win. Yeesh!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

hump day

This morning's workout was much better... feeling strong ... feeling good. Ate pretty well ... still have work to do there ... Dinner will be salad and chicken. And LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER tonight. It's so humid!

Gotta go update the journal, email the naturopath, have a shower ... blah blah blah. But of course everything stops at 8:00 ... SYTYCD is on tonight! WOOO HOOO! Second last performance ... then it's Canada's turn. I do love that show!

I should run and take care of this stuff while B's at piano.

Have a great day!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

rough morning ...

It's been a while since I couldn't get out of bed as soon as the alarm went off. As I lay in bed waiting for the inspiration to get up, I tried to decide whether to do cardio or yoga. Today, I needed the yoga.

I have eaten out so much lately and today's lunch was no exception. Had a chicken stir fry. Still got stuffed. It's amazing how, when you eat small amounts often during the day, how little it takes to fill up. So I keep trying to make smart choices.....

I was chatting with my sister tonight for a while ... partly why this post will be so short .... she and her daughter really are making some beautiful jewellery ... bolder, more sophisticated than in the beginning. But with practice, you know....

Oh yeah ... I seem to have a problem. I bought a pair of skorts a few weeks ago and they're getting quite large on me. I guess I'll have to go shopping for new clothes ... great to be going down in number rather than up....

And we finally said bye-bye to the kittens we almost adopted. They went to a wonderful family ... older couple with 2 beautiful golden retrievers. They had to say goodbye to their 15 year old cat last September. The kittens' "mommy" still seems upset about it. I understand. Even when it's necessary, it's never easy saying goodbye. But Dozer and Bob (the kittens) are probably now at a wonderful new home, not too far from where we live. And who knows ... we just might bump into them from time to time.

I hear our vet's office is going to have 2 more litters coming. We'll definitely be getting a new addition....

On that happy note ... I will bid you adieu!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Monday ....

It's Monday...again. Great circuit training workout. started using an herbal remedy that's supposed to replace coffee. worked pretty well today. we'll see how it goes. My naturopath and I are going to work on a nutritional program that should help. I've got some pretty serious goals set between now and October 3rd. It'll be a lot of work and discipline but totally worth it!

It's late, I gotta run ... but just remember ... anything worth achieving is worth fighting for!

Until tomorrow ....

Sunday, July 26, 2009

start to another "workout" week

Since my workouts run Sunday to Friday, today's kinda my workout "monday". Woke up feeling pretty crappy today. But I did my cardio and yoga workout then had a reasonably good brekkie and latte. Just kickin' back chillin', reading and checking stuff on the laptop.

Gotta get my plan for today done. Yes, I'm slacking. You know, I try to keep a positive attitude and tell people the weather hasn't been that bad and for the most part it hasn't, but yesterday, we had SO much rain ... even I got down about the whole thing. Apparently it has something to do with an oscillation of some sort. It's supposed to be easing off so we're supposed to be getting more summer-like weather soon. They're calling for possible thunderstorms this afternoon here ... AGAIN. I'm grateful that Barry and I were able to get the stuff done earlier in the summer but now we'd really like to have time to lay out on the deck and work on our now-fading tans.

So I'm off to update my journal, cut up vegetables, cook some hard boiled eggs and run some errands. So have a great day and enjoy whatever sun is around ....

Until tomorrow!

Friday, July 24, 2009

YAY! It's Friday!

It really hasn't been the great day. I cut my workout short because I wasn't feeling well. I only missed one circuit. My lunch date got cancelled ... so I did some shopping which was actually a positive because I bought a pair of pants that did not contain lycra (haven't done THAT in a while). I can get them done up but barely. They're my $20 inspiration. LOL

Lunch was a Korean beef stir fry which is very tasty but made me feel like crap. And eating went downhill from there. I kinda started my free day (Saturday) a little early. So I'll keep my eating on the healthier side tomorrow and get back under control on Sunday.

Follow up to last night's SYTYCD - I couldn't believe Brandon was in the bottom 2. I thought for sure it would be Evan and Ade or Jason. I was floored when Janette was voted of. It just goes to show that "great dancer" isn't always the popular ones.

I guess I'm not feeling too chatty for a change. Lucky you guys!

Until tomorrow.....

Thursday, July 23, 2009

almost Friday!

It's almost here! Just one more sleep, one more get up and one more workout! You know, I love the routine of getting up, working out, I especially love the results I'm getting ... but by Friday, my body is tired and I just want to take a day off. Of course my day off this weekend is going to be rather busy in the garden ... more in my "other" blog. This rain is taking a toll on my garden.

I finally went to lunch with a woman (L) was was my trainer when I started at the law firm 5 years ago. We hit it off, hung out for a while, had a very drunken night with a LOT of chocolate martinis with Hershey's kisses in them. Talk about sugar overload! So the first thing out of her mouth was "Wow, you look fabulous ... you've lost so much weight!" She probably told me I looked great about a half dozen times. She even called me a "blonde bombshell". Which I SO appreciated. I can't tell you how good that made me feel. Especially since she was always so fit and I always felt very big compared to her. She's also rather short. She says she's gained a lot of weight, but I think she looks great. Part of it is attitude 'cause I'm a lot more positive and you can tell I feel good about myself. Even though I've still got a VERY long way to go, I'm making progress and that's so important. Chances are, it didn't go on overnight ... it certainly ain't coming off overnight. So you keep doing what it takes ... and if you're not getting the results you want ... try something different. I've had to learn by trial and error what works and what doesn't. And everyone's different. You just gotta find your right mix. I highly recommend a Naturopath or trainer ... I'm really lucky, K is both.

So a little off-topic ... SC - I tended to agree with Nigel to a certain extent. It was really flat and I hold the chorographers somewhat responsible for that. The music selected was a yawn. The second half got much better. I do tend to agree with you about the bottom guys and girls. I LOVE Melissa .... I think she's amazing and the contemporary routine we both thought was stunning. I'm not sure any more who I want to win. Jeanine is fabulous. She's just got such a great attitude and attacks everything that comes her way. That contemporary routine she did with Jason last week was amazing! I love Evan but I think he's gone as far as he'll go. And I'd rather see Kayla go than Melissa this week. Give her another week. I think it'll end up being Jeanine, Jeanette, Brandon and Jason in the top four. Our satelitte's been out today ... only 25 minutes to air time ... I really hope it comes back up again. If not, c'est la vie!

I don't think (and I certainly hope) that they were trying to get a message out ... not malipulate. I'm so sorry about both your Mom and your birth mom ... I trust you get checked on a regular basis. If not ... get your fanny to the doc and have them do a mammogram. I've had them ... they aren't particularly fun ... and don't be surprised if they send you for an ultrasound and even for a biopsy. The technology has advanced so much they can see so much more ... most of which end up being cysts. But I've been there, done that. It's a little unnerving but I'd rather be put through a bit of stress and it turn out to be nothing than not investigate until it's too late. We gotta take care of the girls you know! And that goes for all the ladies ... make sure you're checking ... and if you're over 40 (even with no history), go for the mammograms. If there's history, make sure you talk to your doctor. Early detection seems to be the biggest thing. One of my favourite people has recently had a brush with this disease. He had just started dating a woman, and she was diagnosed with breast cancer. But she kept a positive attitude, got on things right away, refused to let this thing beat her and last I heard she's finished chemo, etc. and she's doing great. But she caught it really early. And he was amazing ... just told her that he was there if she wanted/needed him but would give her the space she needed.

I really do have some amazing friends. We tend to collect people along the way. From work, neighbours, renovation suppliers, people we just get talking to. Barry and I love to meet people, enjoy good conversation over a good meal and fabulous music. But I seem to have digressed. And gotten a little verbose. So I will bid you all adieu for tonight.

Have a great Friday!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

enjoying the day off ...

it wasn't quite what it was supposed to be (weather not great, barry had appointments) but at least I got a few things done I've been putting off, as well as laundry, etc. And we had a nice morning over latte. When I was recording my time for starting my workout this morning, I realized it was exactly 3 hours later than normal for a Wednesday morning. WOO HOO!

Anyway, had a great workout, nice brekkie and latte but my nutrition wasn't quite what it should have been. And I don't feel bad about it. Tomorrow is another day and it will be much better. Although I guess it depends partly on where I'm going for lunch. I'm going to be meeting a woman I used to work with ... haven't seen her in far too long. Always great to catch up with people.

It's actually a short post today .... yes, I'm capable of them ... I've still got recording to do and SYTYCD to watch then it's off to bed. Once the bed's made. Like I said ... lots of laundry.

So enjoy your days ... be happy you're alive ... and make the most of what you've got. Life's too short not to. Even when you're 20... Cheers!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

feeling good!

today was actually a pretty good day. Good workout, ate fairly well, although the cesar salad I tried to eat at lunch was kinda disgusting. swimming in dressing. I couldn't eat it. So I made my own salad for dinner which was MUCH better.

Met my girl KL for lunch...haven't seen her in a while ... she noticed a big difference which is great. She's not feeling to hot about herself ... kinda where I was a year ago. she's such an awesome person I hate to see her like this but I know where she's coming from ... been there before. I hope I can be a source of encouragement for her. I know she'll be better in the future.

I didn't have a perfect day nutrition-wise, but all in all I did ok. You gotta keep working at it. And never give up.

And Barry ... thank you for all your love and support ... it means the world to me. I couldn't ask for a better hubby. Can you believe it's almost 17 years since that night at Yuk Yuks?

Monday, July 20, 2009

it's about discipline ....

It's Monday and Barry is taking a few days off. Makes it REALLY hard to get out of bed, especially at 4:30. Plus he still gets up around 5:30 or so since he drives me to the GO train. What a guy!

So I got up and did my circuit training, did my preparations (it takes time to put this gorgeous woman together LOL LOL LOL). Yes, I'm in a silly mood. I think I'm tired. Anyway, went to work, went to Nutrition House at lunch for some Vitamin C and met a very friendly salesman. He certainly didn't have any trouble with "personal space". As big a flirt as I am. But I was telling him about my journey and about the 4:30 a.m. workouts. He was impressed. Most people just think I'm crazy. To be honest, I'm not sure how I do it. But it just goes to show that you can get used to just about anything.

I hope you know this is not just about my journey and my accomplishments. I'm hoping that I can be a source of encouragement, an example to others. Because believe me, I have started and stopped a journey to fitness more times than I can remember. Barry knows. He's been there for the journey. The ups and downs (my weight mostly). I've been consistently working out since March 22, 2009. Four months might not seem like a lot, but a month was good before. But I've learned to work through not feeling well, being slightly injured, and then there's the whole mental aspect. And of course getting used to going to bed no later than 10 pm (yeah, right) and going on 6 - 6 1/2 hours consistently Sun-Fri ... I actually get about 8-9 Friday and Saturday nights. I'm just such a partier ... I'm generally asleep by 11 pm.

But this is really important to me. It seemed to take my mom dying for me to get my act together. The pressure was off me and I was able to take care of me first. I don't know how many times I told Barry I was going to get the weight off and then I'd get lazy and the next thing I knew I was another 5 or 10 pounds heavier. I really don't know what my top weight was. I was 221 lbs. Apparently I'm not much less than that now but my body is very different. Weight training does wonderful things. So the scale doesn't really mean that much.

There were times that despite the fact I told Barry I would do it this time, I knew he didn't believe me and he really didn't do much to help me. Probably because if he did what I asked, I'd get mad at him so he stopped supporting me. I tried getting up at 4:30 for workouts before and all I got from him was "then it wakes me up too and I can't get back to sleep" so of course I put him before me. Bad habit. Husband, father, mother, brother, manager ... Ii was tiptoeing around everyone and I kinda felt like I came last in my life.

But no more. I think I was trying so hard not to be self-centered or selfish (which I was in my teens and twenties ... but really, aren't most people?) that I kinda lost myself. Well ... I'm back. And my health and fitness come before everything else. Once I started getting up at 4:30 EVERY morning and following through on my workouts, eating healthy and getting generally more active, Barry was really supportive. And I started to have more faith in myself.

So to anyone who is struggling, who wants to get control of their lives (regardless of what aspect), just remember ... it's about discipline .. it's about faith (in yourself and anything else you believe in) and it's about consistency. Even if you can't do a full workout, do something ... anything. Go for a walk. Do some yoga...

Well folks, it's almost my bedtime so I shall bid you adieu. Thanks for "listening".

Sunday, July 19, 2009

time to say goodbye

Today was rough. It took all my determination to get my butt out of bed early and to do a complete cardio and yoga workout. I've been tired and dragged out all day. We said our final goodbyes to mom today. My brother and his wife and my girl Jen were here as well. My eating went all to crap. Which is probably why I felt so rough.

But life goes on. So I get up every morning, do my workout, eat fairly nutritiously, drink lots of water, keep a positive attitude, encourage others, track what I'm doing, and enjoy life.

Regardless of what happens in life, cause there's always lots of crap that can happen, we just gotta keep on keepin' on.

And tomorrow is a new day. So I'll get up, do my workout, eat well, drink lots of water and then I'm going for a shiatsu massage. I can't wait!

Have a great day!

Friday, July 17, 2009

a good problem to have ...

So I bought a skort (for the uninformed, it's shorts with a skirt overtop ... very practical since the skirt is usually shorter) several weeks ago .... and it's too big! It doesn't look sloppy or anything but I prefer more fitted clothes now 'cause they make me keep my tummy pulled in. The skort leaves way too much room for "relaxation of muscles".

Another problem I'm having ... my abs are tightening but my tummy feels rather jiggly ... not a great feeling ... then a friend of mine (hey Patricia) who has lost over 20 pounds (way to go girlfriend!) informed me that she was told it's because the fat is breaking up and burning up. Which is fine by me. I'll deal with the jiggly feeling.

I don't know what made me think of this, but I remember when I first when to see my naturopath ... probably a couple of years ago ... about aged 42 ... and I felt like a fat, tired, depressed, stressed out, middle aged woman whose life was spiralling out of control. Which was actually a pretty accurate description of how I felt and how my life was going. And I was thinking about him as I was working out (I keep him on my shoulder to keep me working hard) and then I thought about how I feel now. Not so fat, definitely not so tired, happy, enjoying life. I can't change the chronological age but I feel 10 years younger than I did a couple of years ago. Most of the stress is gone. At least the stuff that was stressing me out then is gone. Mother, manager, I'm working out 6 days a week, keeping the endorphins up and I feel like I'm in much better control of my life.

I don't really know how Barry did it. He's put up with a lot from me. Between the weight gain, the depression, the wicked PMS (thank God THAT'S done with ... the wonders of surgery), and that's just a little of what he put up with. Then there's my family. Living with my parents and brother. But 17 years later (12 married), we're still together and stronger than ever. It just goes to show that you don't HAVE to follow in your parents' footsteps. Neither of us had good role models when it came to relationships. I'm very grateful that my parents saw me married to a great guy who they both thought very highly of. Except for Bartholomew. B's alter-ego. He really did have my parents wondering in the early years. He's my interior designer. He has very good taste but he is a little eccentric. Dad was rather homophobic to say the least. They were both convinced he was flaming gay. But hey, he was with me. Or at least Barry was. Bartholomew made a brief visit tonight which is why I mention him. Those were fun times.....

Bought a new CD (yes, people still do that ...) by Kate Voegele ... we first heard her on One Tree Hill. Great voice, great look, music's fab. Oddly enough, Windows Media Player has her classified as "Folk". Not what I associate with folk at all. Go figure.

Anyway, I guess I should run. I can't believe it's 9 pm already. Gotta update my journal and send it off to K (naturopath) for his comments. Nutrition just seems to be my biggest challenge. But I'll get there. No worries.

And LeeAnn ... thanks again for your comment yesterday. It always helps to get positive feedback. Chat soon.

Night all!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

enjoying life ...

things are good. did a good cardio and yoga workout this morning. Eating was a little off. I do much better when I have meal replacement bars. It's the whole structure thing....

so I wore my last remaining skirt from my "really fat" days. I thought I'd keep it. Don't like it. I mean it looked ok; nothing wrong with it. Except I've gotten used to everything being very fitted and having to pull in my abs. The skirt was rather large, had an elasticized waist and no structure (there's that word again). I'm learning what my style is. I mean I looked good today and attracted some attention but I wasn't happy. I didn't feel great in my clothes. I don't like that feeling. I'm happy to say that with the progress I've made so far I can be a little pickier. Now if I don't love it or feel great in it, I don't get it, don't wear it, whatever. There's a few tops I bought a few years ago and had "outgrown" some time ago. They're gorgeous and I feel good in them. I'll be able to get back into them soon.

I don't know how to explain how I feel. I don't think I've ever been here before. And I just want to help others who have felt how I did. It was not a good place to be. Depression seems to run rampant in my family. I'm probably one of the luckier ones. But I refuse to let it get the better of me. The exercising helps HUGE and highly recommend it for EVERYONE. It doesn't have to run your life and depending on your situation, it doesn't have to be really strenuous. But eating healthy foods and just moving makes such a big difference. We all have our reasons. our motivations...

I have a long way to go to get to my goals but I'm working toward it. Every day. I try really hard never to regret the things I've done. I may not like what I've done or what's happened but regret is such a wasted emotion. If you can't change something in the past, why regret it. Learn from it. Don't do it again. But love and respect yourself enough to say "never again" and keep moving forward. I know it's easier said than done. It's easy to wallow in the past. I've seen what regret can do to people. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time being fat. But I can't do anything about that. I can, however, make changes now to determine a better future.

So have a great day and keep looking and moving forward!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

better day today

Very funny LeeAnn. But I did have a good time.

Now it's down to business again. I started off the day a little better. A co-worker and I got into negative talk this morning and I shut it down. I don't need it or want it. Life's too short. And I've got way too much to do and too many things to be thankful for to waste my time on negative talk. It's just too easy to get caught up in it.

I did discover something though which I think is rather hilarious. Despite my renewed confidence, I appear to be having a little trouble making eye contact with a couple of people (guys of course ... women just don't quite have the same effect on me LOL) One in particular is causing me a lot of trouble. And I don't get it. I'm confident, making progress, I've known him for a couple of years but for some reason ...

Anyway, I also discovered this morning that my style has taken a left turn at Albaquerqe (forgive the spelling ... I know it's wrong ....) With the reborn confidence, has come a strong dislike of anything too long, too loose, too shapeless. A little over 3 years ago, I felt like such a fat cow, nothing fit, and I felt like crap. So about $1500 later, I had a new wardrobe from Addition Elle and I started feeling better about myself. But 3 years, I don't know how many pounds and a TON more confidence, I don't like the clothes that I still have from those days. The tops are all worn out since I wore them for about 3 years straight. But the skirts are all elasticized waists and too long. Anything below the knee these days is too long.... I feel like I've been reborn lately.

One of my co-workers has been doing really well, working out 3 times at week at lunch. She doesn't know how I do the 4:30 am thing; I don't know how she does the lunchtime thing. I couldn't. I sweat too much and hate that feeling.... Anyway, she was saying this morning she didn't feel like working out and I said go anyway. It's about habit and routine. I don't even think (at least not normally) about not doing my workouts in the morning. Nutrition is another story, but I'm getting better. She felt much better when she got back from her workout.

I figured out why I was so down yesterday ... but I'm much better today. Plus I did my circuit training which always helps.

I guess the moral of the story is to stick with it ... it helps a lot. Even when you don't feel like it, do it. Even when I was injured or fighting something, even if I couldn't do a full workout, I'd do a light cardio and yoga for 40 minutes. Just keeping up the habit makes all the difference.

Have a great one!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Feeling a little down ...

I'm not sure what's the matter today. I'm normally pretty update, lots of energy, positive attitude....not so much today. It's weird. Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep, water, fruits and veggies ... too much caffeine. feeling pudgy. I missed the cardio portion of my workout this morning and just did yoga instead. Felt like the yoga was more important ... got up late this morning. I might have been wrong. But I'll get to bed earlier tonight, eat healthier tomorrow, get a good circuit training workout in and things should be back on track.

See you tomorrow!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Time flies ....

Wow, I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I updated! YIKES! Well, the workouts are going well, and I usually have lots of energy. Today, not so much. I finally got Excel installed on my computer and was able to put a "journal" together, very similar to my body for life journal. Just started using the journal today. I put a master document together so it's really easy to update and now I can send it to my naturopath (K) and he can actually read it to see what I've been up to. It's about time!

I'm still really struggling with caffeine ... I'm going to take to have to talk to K about this and see what he has to say. And good old fashions willpower I guess. Addict. Yeesh.

Anyway, it's getting to be time to go to bed so I'll bid you adieu and I promise I'll keep in touch more.