Thursday, October 28, 2010

Day 33 of 84 - Everything is Fine

I've had a few people concerned I haven't posted in a couple of days.  Not to worry.  I was at a conference on Tuesday and got home late and last night was a "recovery" night.  It's getting late ... AGAIN.  But I wanted to let you know that although my eating hasn't been the best this week, I'm not worried.  I've been working out ... except yesterday. 

Of course this is an important week ... but I feel good.  I'm not worried about not getting into my skirt on Saturday. 

One of the biggest things I've learned this week is that I have finally learned to exercise self control.  It started to get out of hand yesterday with something between a gummy bear and wine gum.  I ate too many of them but then turned my back on them and promptly forgot about them.  And tonight we went to our local farmer's market for the last time this year.  We ended up with amazing brownies and lots of chocolate chip cookies.  All home made.  We had stopped at Quiznos for dinner, got home, got settled, blah blah blah.  Then I went up for veggies and was going to get a brownie but stopped myself.

I've noticed that if I actually think about what I'm about to do, I usually can stop myself.  I just have to apply this to coffee .... hmmmm.

I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know I'm doing great.  Tomorrow's Friday.  Woo hoo!
Have a great one! 

Monday, October 25, 2010

Day 30 of 84 - OMG I blew it!

Everything was going along, just wonderfully today.  I had a great workout, nutritionn was on track until lunchtime and then it went to hell.  I resisted the donuts and the muffins this morning.  I almost bought something at lunch ... decided to wait until I got back to the office and ate.

It must have been the sandwich.  And then the third coffee.  My stomach started to feel like it was rotting.  And no antacids in site.  And then Barry had an appointment so I ended up having a slice of pizza and some veggies.  And then it was crackers and cheese.

But tomorrow is another (challenging) day.  I have a conference from 10:30 until 4:00 (they're feeding us lunch) and then a tour and out for dinner.  Thankfully I'll be able to control my portion size and dinner is at Hot House Cafe ... lots to choose from.  I should have one of their salads ... but their Jumbalya is my fav.

So ... bad day today ... I'll take my Prevacid tonight and be better tomorrow ... and restrict my coffee intake.  Tomorrow is a new opportunity for meeting my goals.

Here's to a great day tomorrow!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Day 29 of 84 - Finally seeing results

So today was "results" day.  I say results rather than weigh-in only because I take measurements as well as weigh myself.  I restrict this to once a month because more than that for me personally, is too much.  I don't see significant enough results to encourage me.  But that's just me.  I will weigh myself every couple of weeks just to keep an eye on things but hey, everyone's got to do what they've got to do.

So I'm down 5 pounds in 4 weeks.  I lost a total of 8 1/4" all over, most signicantly - 2" in my shoulders, 1 1/4" each from my midriff and my waist and 1" in my tummy.  I am freeking thrilled!  I still have a ways to go, but I'm really happy with the progress I've made.

After a great start from Mar to Dec 2009, I feel like I've been "putting in time" the past several month.  In the past I've spent a lot of the winter months sick and not working out much.  I never fully recovered my workouts from Winter 09-10.  It's like I was allowing my body to get used to being smaller, but taking a "break".  It wasn't intentional.  I still got up at 4:15 am, I still did my workouts and I still watched my nutrition.  I never gave up though.  But I didn't focus on it.  It felt like I was going through the motions.

 But 4 weeks ago, I said enough is enough.  It was time to get serious about removign the rest of the fat, building sexy muscles and improving my stamina and my health.  I can't believe it was 4 weeks ago already that I made that decision.  I haven't been without my challenges the past 4 weeks between lunches and dinners out, stress, decisions that had to be made, yada yada yada.  Everyone has crap they have to deal with.

As a good friend of mine reminded me yesterday, it's not what happens to you, it's how you handle it.  How true.  He's a pretty smart guy.

It's a cool, rainy, windy, crappy Fall day today.  We worked out hineys off yesterday closing up the outside.  I still have more work that I want to get done, but the important stuff is done.  Today I tackle the inside, especially the office.  Paper is my enemy.  And yes, that's all I deal with at work.  Anyway ... I am determined to get it under control in my home office. 

I need my snack now.  I'm running a little late.  Apple and peanut butter.  mmmmmm.

Have a great day ... and NEVER give up on your dreams!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Day 26 of 84 - Quick Hello

This has been a brutal week.  Work has been insane and our evenings have been so freeking busy, I haven't had much time to chill and blog.  I've started a few posts but haven't finalized anything.

I came across a new follower today and I checked out one of her blogs.  She reminded me that if there's a problem, fix it, don't just whine about it.  I'm afraid that's what I've kinda been doing this week.

And since this blog is more about inspiration than whining, I haven't been writing.  I need to work things out on my own and then I talk.  Ask Barry. 

Anyway, tomorrow's Friday.  YAY!  I'll have time on the weekend to get caught up on all the stuff I want to (I hope) so you'll definitely be hearing from me.  And my weigh in and measurements are Saturday morning so I'll definitely share then.

So have a great day tomorrow and I'll touch base again real soon.


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Day 24 of 84 - I am so excited!

I had a post almost ready to go today but I decided to keep it short (partly cause it's late and I gotta head to bed soon).

Barry and I have been invited to a Hallowe'en party.  This should be interesting.  Barry is going as a pimp and I am going to be one of his "girls".  We got his costume tonight ... purple crushed velvet ... then we ran short of time.  So when we got home, I went looking for stuff from my closet.  I was looking for a short skirt.  So I tried on a skirt I haven't worn in so long I can't even remember wearing it. Not only could I get it on, I did the button up and while it's snug, I could wear ... and this at the end of the day, not the morning!

I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am.  This has been a long road for me.  I'm nowhere near my goal ... but this is the first step of many.  My goal is to buy a tankini by next June 1st.  Progress is being made.  This has only spurred me on to recommit and work even harder.

I have a floral minidress that I bought probably 14 years ago.  I could wear it then.  I haven't worn it in probably 10-12 years.  I am going to get into that dress next spring.  I am so focussed now on reaching my goals ... I feel so amazing.   But it is getting late so I'm going to say goodnight.

I will leave you with one thing though ... don't give up.  EVER.  Even when you think you can't do it, when life is getting in the way, just focus, focus, focus.  And ask for help.  Don't ever hesitate to say "I'm struggling ... I need help".  And if no one else is around ... I'll be here. 

Good Night!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Day 23 of 84 - Some of my Favourite Things

I was inspired by hubby and thought I'd share a little more of myself with you.

Making love
Strength training
Long brisk walks with Barry
Our Kitties
Sitting in front of a fireplace on a cold, snowy day
Hanging with friends
Sunrises, sunsets
Hanging on the deck with a drink in my hand, friends to chat with and music playing in the background.
Throwing parties - big or small, I love them all!
Family bbqs
Animals of all kinds ... even the four legged kind  LOL

Baking (don't do it very often any more but I enjoy the process
Making new friends
Catching up with old friends
High heels (I'm 5'7" so I don't wear them too high .... Usually 3" or so. Barry' 5'11" so I don't want to wear really high heels ... Who am I kidding ... I'm not 20 anymore ... I can't handle higher than 3". Lol
Encouraging others to reach for their goals

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Day 22 of 84 - "Measure success by what you gain, not just by what you lose."

Every day, I have a "lesson for LIFE" that I read.  I've been reading these lessons over and over each time I do a challenge.  Today's hit me hard.

Bill talks about measuring success not by what you lose (weight) but by what you gain ... in energy, in attitude, in strength, in renewed health.  And I have gained so much in this journey.  I have re-gained a self-confidence that I had lost for a long time.  I have gained energy like I haven't had in years.  I've always been pretty strong for a chick in my upper body, but now I've gained lower body strength as well.

My health?  Yes, it's better too.  I don't struggle with my breathing like I used to.  Sex is easier and better.  My flexibility in general has improved.  I'm not struggling with panic attacks any more.  I don't dread being active, I look forward to it.  I take my supplements religiously and it appears they are helping.

So while just losing pounds on a scale is awesome, and it's definitely part of the process, but remember, it's not the only thing about this journey.  It's about getting healthier, fitter, happier.  And while there are many ways of getting there, the important thing is that we eventually get there. 

I follow, promote and believe in the Body for Life program.  Is it for everyone?  Of course not.  Not everything works for everyone.  That's why there are so many options.  The key is to find what works for you.  Some people can handle a "cheat" day, others cannot.  If you cannot, do not do it.  If you can, then it's a great way to reaffirm to yourself just why you're doing this.  Do you need to do it every week?  Of course not.  If being strict every single day works for you and keeps you on the straight and narrow, then by all means, follow that.  Everyone is in a different place.  We just have to find what works and stick with it.

I wish you all an awesome day.  Remember to celebrate your victories, but never get complacent. 

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Day 21 of 84 - Free Day!

It's finally the weekend!  Today is my free day.  It's the one day of the week that I can (legally) eat what I want.  When I first started this journey, it was a free for all.  Now... I utilize it (and definitely need to today) for irregular eating or eating certain items that are not on the approved list.

We had breakfast at almost noon (we were a little pre-occupied :)), a yogurt at 3:30 and by 5 pm I had a serious drop in blood sugar, energy level, whatever ... all I knew was that if I didn't eat within the next 10 minutes, I was gonna be in trouble.  Or at least it certainly felt that way.  So we had leftover pasta and some carrots.

Then the "I want something sweet" started.  We don't keep junk in the house any more, so I settled for a semi-sweet chocolate square.  And that was all I needed.  I made a big fruit salad full of berries, pineapple and mandarins ... I'll have a bowl of that in a while and that will be my food intake for the day.  Oh yeah, and I had my mandatory latte this morning.  But I make it myself, use skim milk with a bit of flavoured cream and some sugar.  Not nearly as bad as Starbucks.  (in more ways than one .....)

Barry (hubby) commented to me today that my legs and but had really firmed up.  And the other day he mentioned there wasn't nearly as much of me to get his arms around when he hugged me.    And there's not nearly as much torso as there used to be.  I'm stronger, more flexible, have better stamina and I really noticed the progress this weekend.

It's really amazing ... I had been going along, doing my workouts, eating fairly well, but not really noticing a lot of progress for a while.  It was like my body was adjusting after I had made good progress the first number of months .... it's like it needed time to catch up.  Then I re-focussed my efforts, amped up the intensity of all my workouts, started paying more attention to my food intake, and all of a sudden I'm noticing a difference.  I don't think about food nearly as much as I used to.  If I'm distracted with something better to do, I go longer without eating (which is not necessarily a good thing) and I'm definitely progressing better with my workouts.

So don't give up.  Don't get down on yourself if your body needs a little breather.  Sometimes taking a little "time out" from your regular routine is good, as long as it's only a little time out and as long as you re-focus your efforts and increase your intensity.

I hopped on the scale this morning ... I wasn't going to until next Saturday ... my weight is down is 213.6 pounds.  It hasn't been quite this low in a while.  Funny thing is, I started at 221.  Less than 10 pounds.  But 2 dress sizes.  It's amazing what happens when you combine weight training with cardio and healthy eating.  So if you're weight training as part of your weight loss regime, don't worry too much about the pounds as long as you see results.

Barry said tonight that once I get under 200 pounds we'd go celebrate with a nice big dinner (he was kidding)... I said he could buy me some sexy lingerie.  He was happy about that. 

Have an awesome weekend!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Day 20 of 84 - Learn to Fall in Love with the Process

I love this picture.  Originally all I saw was the stairs and to me it represented the long climb to fitness.  Then I noticed the escalators.  It seemed so appropriate since so people these days are trying to take the "express route".  This post is about falling in love with the process of truly getting fit.

I've lost count how many times I've tried to get back into shape over the past 20 years. I could never get enough momentum going. I couldn't find what worked for me.

I tried Atkins which actually worked really well but I'm not sure it:s healthy in the long run. I kept waiting to feel awful. I didn't. I felt fabulous. But its bloody hard to sustain, especially eating out.

About 12 years ago I stumbled across Bill Phillips, EAS and Body for Life. Finally, aqprogram that was a 3-pronged approach, it was simple, (not easy, just simple) easy to understand and follow and it was something that was adaptable and sustainable.

Its divided into 12 week "challenges" which is why I do an 84 day count. So I did the first challenge and got reasonbable results. But life happened and I lost focus, caring for sick parents. And then the weight really started to pile on. But I always believed in the program.

I've since learned to fall in love with the process of getting fit. I love my workouts, I feel so great when I eat healthy, and I love to help and nurture people. Mom always called me a frustrated mother. I chose not to have children but I guess that instinct of caring for people is still very strong. I just don't want it on a full time basis.
When you have to completely change your eating habits, your relationship with food; when you have to discipline yourself to get out and move every day; when you have to learn to plan ... your workouts, your meal plans, it takes discipline. And it can get laborious. It can become a drag. I've done this for so long (off and on ... more off than on though), it can become so monotonous.

I had a eureka! moment this week ... Actually more than one but this one in particular really hit home. You need to fall in love with the process; of journalling, of eating healthy meals, of working out. And it occurred to me that I finally had.

We went grocery shopping tonight, before dinner, and I was famished.  And tired and hot.  Not a good combination.  But I didn't even walk down the junk food aisle.  We did not pick up one bag of chips, cookies, any type of junk food.  It occurred to me for a moment because tomorrow is my free day ... the one day a week I'm allowed to eat whatever.  But I didn't feel like getting anything.  I'm not sure whether the power of junk food has finally released me from its grasp or not, but it's a lot easier than it was, even a couple of months ago.  And I am grateful.

So stay consistent, continue eating healthy food, get off your butt and move that body cause that's what we're meant to do.  TV's, computers, video games ... they're all fun and I spend too much time on my butt, but moderation.  We need to become more active. 

Body for Life teaches about the Universal Law of Reciprocation.  You know, do unto others .... it's about encouragement and support and helping each other.  And you guys do such an awesome job.  Keep up the great work!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Day 19 of 84 - Our Relationship with Food

It is a complex relationship. Some people are stress eaters; others don't eat at all. Some people restrict their food severely and binge. Some will vomit.

When did food cease to be merely sustenance; fuel to fill our engines and become a substitue, an obsession, a time waster? Why do we use food to stuff down emotions of stress, depression, anger.

Why do we substitute food for love and acceptance? Its a slippery slope. We start off, perhaps just enjoying good food. But we indulge in too many good meals and not enough activity. The fat starts to pile on. You start to feel uncomfortable in your clothes, in your own skin. Instead of going out and getting active, we eat more. And before you know it 5 years have gone by and you're 50 pounds heavier. How did it happen?

And try to lose it? Why does it go on so easily yet takes a serious amount of sweat equity to remove it?
And why does this only happen to some people and not others?

And then there's the whole issue of portion sizes. We've become so used to supersized portions that we've become supersized ourselves. The level of portion distortion is horrible. And that's Canada. Don't get me started on the U.S. They (I'm not sure "they" are but they should be charged with something ... Yeesh!) have been slowly fattening us up for the kill. Quite literally. Do we have a choice what we eat? Of course we do. But humans are weak. And we love a bargain. I mean, really, do u want to get 4 oz for $10 of whatever or 8 oz for the same price. You get better value for your money, right. Not really.  When you think about the price you pay with your health ....
I think we all need to start paying more attention to what we're putting in our mouths and when we're doing it.  One of my pet peeves is that "fast food" is so unbelievably high in carbs. not to mention fat and sodium.  The past 2 1/2 weeks have been brutal.   I've had lunches out almost every day and 4 big dinners.  I feel like I need to detox.  Probably not a bad idea.  I digress.  We need more low fat, high protein, balanced meals ... the tide, I believe, is slowly turning,  Very slowly.  But we have the power to facilitate change.  If we ask for it, they will slowly provide it.
And don't forget, if there are underlying issues, and you're really struggling with your relationship with food, don't hesitate to ask for help.  Talk to your doctor, a counsellor, a psychologist.  They can help.  And with the darker months for many of us approaching fast, you might want to try Vitamin D.  I take 2000 mg during the summer and 4,000 to 6,000 during the winter.  It helps keep me out of a depression.
So here's to healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle.  My quote of the day ... "I've failed over and over and over again, and that is why I succeed."

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Day 18 of 84 - My Inspiration

(what can I tell you, he inspires me LOL)

I've had a number of you say that I inspire you. You have no idea how much that means to me.

But what, or rather who, inspires me?

Recently I started following, and am followed by, a number of people who truly inspire and amaze me.

My newfound blogging friends are working to remove 100, 200, sometimes more. And they're doing it naturally.

I figure about 40-50 pounds of fat removed from my body, I will be extatic. And its tough sometimes. I don't always eat properly or exercise enough but I'm in this for the long haul.

A lot of you know that my sister had weight loss surgery in June and is doing really well. 50 pounds and counting. I doubt I could go through with surgery, whether its slimband, bypass or the sleeve (her surgery). Although I suppose if my life depended on it, I would find the discipline.
Regardless of the method, I admire anyone who decides to completely change their patterns, their thought processes, their habits, their lifestyle in order to make a change for the better; to live a happier, healthier, longer life.

So thank you all. I've met some amazing people through our little community. For your encouragement, your support, your inspiration.

Every one of you have inspired me. To eat healthy, to stay active, to stay committed, to get my ass out of bed at 415 am even when "somebody" (who doesn't Actually read my blog) keeps me up until way past my bedtime.

I just watched this on hubby's site.  Please visit Life in Quotations.  The video will bring tears to your eyes and make you realize that our challenges, while important to us, are minor compared to what this man deals with.  He is unbelievable. 
I just hope that I help you just a fraction of how much you help me.

Thank you. Stay committed, stay strong, stay empowered. Together we can win this war.

Love you guys!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Day 16 of 84 - sorry for the absence

I didn't expect to be away from posting for so long.  Last week was pretty crazy.  We went north to my sister's place for an early Thanksgiving dinner.  Her daughter and 4 1/2 year old twin boys live with her and her son was able to make it up from K-W.

So picture this ... 5 full sized adults, 2 young boys, a Goldendoodle (part Golden Retriever, part Standard Poodle .. he's huge and looks like a great big stuffed animal), a Cavachon (part Bishon Frise, part King Charles Cavalier Spaniel ... he's just a little guy and absolutely adorable), a cockatiel, a Holland Lop bunny (absolutely adorable), all in about 1,200 sf ... we were all together in just the living room and kitchen ... tight fit.  But it was fun.

And I'm so proud to report that my sister had dropped 50 pounds since her surgery in June.  She looks awesome!  She's up and moving around and able to do so much more than she has in a long time.  It didn't cure her heart trouble, but it's certainly taken a lot of strain off of it.

We had amazing weather, stayed at a great little B&B 5 minutes away from my sister's place, had a great dinner (ate WAY too much even tho I didn't think I did), had a great breakfast (again, too much food), missed my Sunday and Monday workouts but I haven't eaten a lot since I got home.

I had planned on working in the garden all day today but we got a late start, it was cooler than anticipated and I have been doing laundry and ironing all day.

I had started writing a couple of posts but never got them finished so I'll be finishing a piece of our relationship with food for tomorrow's post ... I'll be back on track then.

In the meantime, have a great day ... eat well, keep moving and keep believing in yourself.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Day 12 of 84 - General Update

What a week!  It has taken FOR EVER to get here.  It's Thursday night and I'm almost ready for bed.  I just wanted to touch base,, say hi and and remind you to not give up, to keep eating healthy, to keep moving.  To never get too down on yourself.  And if you need some bolstering, to call or write.  Make sure you have a good support group ... this isn't easy, regardless of the method you use or the amount  you have to lose.

And if you need someone to say "I believe in you" or "get in your ass in gear" or "did you really do that?", I shall oblige.

Until tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Day 11 of 84 - Changing your view of yourself

It's hard to change how you see yourself.  When you spend a lot of time overweight and then start losing, it's really hard sometimes to actually see the change.

When I look in the mirror sometimes I still see that fat, middle aged, tired, unhappy woman.  I don't see the fitter, younger, energetic, excited, inspired woman who is slowly, slowly taking the fat off.  I'm an impatient woman.  I want what I want when I want it.  This has been a great exercise (pardon the pun) in learning patience.  In learning that it takes take to make real changes.  That sometimes others see what we cannot.
So don't give up.  You can't always trust the mirror.  Definitely not the scale.  Trust the tape measure, trust how your clothes fit.  How you feel.  How your habits change.  How your cravings subside.  You look forward to exercise.  You feel horrible when you don't exercise or when you eat too much or the wrong foods. 

Keep up the good work.  Don't give up.  And if you need me, you know where to find me.


I did good today until dinner.  Lunch was a spinach salad with grilled shrimp.
Dinner, on the other hand ... well ... we won't discuss that.  BUT ... I didn't eat all of the fries. 
I had a great workout this morning.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Day 10 of 84 - When your spouse isn't completely on board

I married an amazing man.  Despite the weight gain, the broken promises to get back in shape, the binge eating, asking him to help me stay on track and then getting pissed off when he said something, he always supported me.  More or less.

He's never really struggled with his weight.  He's about 14 pounds heavier than he was in high school.  Not bad.  I certainlly can't say that.  he doesn't understand how hard it is.  How, no matter how badly you want it, it's really hard to stick with it sometimes.  I had a very bad relationship with food.  I was, yes, was, a compulsive, emotional eater.  Barry can eat 2 cookies; I would have 10 or 12.  Instead of a small bag of popcorn, potato chips, whatever, it was the family size.  And I'd eat the entire bag in one day.  Then I'd feel like crap.

I tried exercising.  I couldn't seem to stay consistent.  There was always something going on at night.  The gym didn't open early enough and I wouldn't be able to get Barry to drive me at some ungodly hour anyway.  So I bought the Bowflex and a Gazelle.  Still didn't get consistent.  Then my manager left the company and 3 months later my mom died.  The stress level changed.  My attitude changed.  Barry had always balked at me working out early.  I finally had to have a heart to heart with him and explain that the only way I was going to accomplish this, was to get up early.  It took a little adjustment, but he's able to get back to sleep now which helps a lot.

We would always have junk in the house.  I used to be a very visual eater.  Even if I wasn't hungry, if I saw something I liked, I'd eat it.  Even if I wasn't hungry.  Can you tell I struggled a lot with food.  And having someone at home who could basically eat whatever he wanted didn't help.  So I asked him to keep his food in his studio.  Then he started to gain a bit and I knew where he kept his stash so I'd go raid it once in a while but it was still better than before.

I'm not sure when it all changed.   I feel a lot better.  I have a very long way to go.  I realized that one of the reasons why I don't like a lot of my pics is that I'm all chest.  I didn't really see that until my gf mentioned it.  And I looked at my pics differently and I noticed that she was right.  Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go in the tummy area ... but I'm starting to feel better.  When I saw my pics at the wedding in Sept, I realized that I wasn't that fat.  I looked a lot better than I thought I did.

I don't think the same way I did.  I eat healthy ... most of the time.  I exercise 6 days a week ... most of the time.  I'm surrounding myself with more people who are on the same journey as I am.  Only some of these people have 100, 200 pounds to drop.  THEY inspire me.  They're amazing.  I'm trying to cheer them on as much as I can.  I know how much it means to me when you cheer me on.  You know, the whole "pay it forward" thing.  It's so important to lift each other up.  There are more than enough people who will try to drag you down.

So if you have a spouse (or anyone in your household actually), lay it on the line for them.  Tell them what you need.   If they don't help, don't let that stop you.  Show them by your example.  Prove them wrong.

You CAN do this!  We can do it together .....

Monday, October 4, 2010

Day 9 of 84 - Weighing In

One of the things I'm reading a lot on the weight loss blogs I've recently started following is that they're weighing themselves and getting stressed over 1 or 2 pound losses.  I totally understand why.  Which is why I hadn't weighed myself in years.  Which is probably one reason why I am where I am.  Maybe if I had weighed myself, even once a month, I would have gotten this under control earlier.

My point though, is that very slight fluctuations can be very disheartening, almost self defeating.  At least for some of us.

I weighed myself after 1 week and had lost 2 1/2 pounds which sounds great ... except it wasn't hard compared to my eating habits and stress level I had been under.  But my eating habits the past few days haven't been great.  I've got 2 lunches this week and 1 next week.  I'm gonna have to make sure that I'm working out hard, drinking LOTS of water and eating lightly at other meals.

So keep up the good work, train as hard as you're able, drink lots of water, eat healthy, proper portions, and remember to smile and laugh and enjoy the process.  I know it's tough in the beginning.  God knows i've tried and tried and tried.  It's finally taken.  My relationship with food has changed.  I don't binge any more.  I don't eat mindlessly.  It's made a world of difference.  So keep up the good work!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Day 8 of 84 - Facebook

I had fought it and fought it for ages.  I refused to become part of the Facebook community.  Instead, we opted to blog.  Two completely different communities in my opinion.  But we finally caved and joined FB.  And I spent a good portion of yesterday just getting my profile set up, albums (OMG I didn't realize how many pics I had!), touching base with friends I haven't seen in years.

I debated, then finally looked up an old friend.  Who am I kidding, he was an on again off again boyfriend of about 13 years.  We met when I was 14 he was almost 21.  I know it sounds terrible by today's standards but remember ... I was 14 but looked about 20.  Until I opened my mouth of course but just to look at me, I was well blessed by that age, I'm 5'7" so I was tall for my age.  Anyway, we had a rather tumultuous relationship for many years.  He moved to California (he's still there) ... I went to visit him in 1990 ... haven't physically seen him since but he is a FB Friend.  Very early in my relationship with Barry, before it became officially "exclusive", I was going to go back to him.  See, whenever I got too close to someone, I ran back to him.  I'm not sure why.  I think it's because I always knew nothing permanent was going to happen ... we just really weren't good for each other in that capacity ... and he was "safe".  But I came to my senses and decided it would be a bad idea.  Barry and I wouldn't be together had I gone.  My gf at the time told me I was an idiot if I went ... apparently I agreed with her since I cancelled.  Last time we spoke was about 14 years ago.   So I sent him a message (he's been in my lately like he tends to do ... and then we're in contact ... we've been doing this for YEARS!), he didn't recognize the look (I'm naturally a brunette and he hasn't seen me in 20 years) but recognized the name and remembered me.  I mean, really, how could he forget??? LOL

So we've been emailing back and forth a few times.  It's been great to catch up with him.  There's something very comforting in it all.  Maybe because so much of my family is gone and I'm searching for a connection to my past.  I've lost touch with so many people, but have reconnected with a few through FB.  I'm now even able to keep in touch with my brother's wife who is in Brazil, my niece in Lindsay, family and friends who are scattered all over the place.  It's nice to keep in touch.  It's great to get a glimpse into people's lives when you can't actually be there.

As far as my fitness is concerned, I missed Thursday's upper body workout because I didn't sleep well Wednesday night but got up Friday for my cardio workout.    Thursday night we went out for dinner ... Friday night it was dinner at friends' place who just moved to our town a week ago, Saturday was dinner at other friends.  And OMG you talk about food!  And wine.  and laughter.  It was a blast!  But I was still full at 1:00 a.m.  So it was a late night but I got up this morning, did my lower body workout, had a fairly light breakfast ... going to eat light all day today ... and do some gardener and the organzing and laundry and ironing and all those mundane things that one has to do once in a while.

So have a great day ... and enjoy the upcoming week.  Until tomorrow.....