I was watching One Tree Hill tonight. Damn them, but Hailey's mom died of pancreatic cancer. Problem is, my dad died of pancreatic cancer and I never really got a chance to say goodbye to my mom. They called me on the Wednesday and told me she was bad and I meant to go see her but I was tired or something stupid like that. I mean, the nursing home is on the way to my house practically from the GO station. Then Thursday something else happened and I never got there. Then I got the call on Friday and she was basically unconscious and even though I told her it was ok, it was her time, I never got to say I love you one last time so she'd actually hear it. Maybe she did. I don't know. I just know that after 4 years of making trips to the nursing home I was tired of it and I didn't go as often as maybe I should have. I used to be really close to my mom until she got sick and I feel like I kinda abandoned her.
So don't take life for granted. Make sure you tell the people you love that you love them. Because you never know when you won't have that opportunity again.
She's been gone 18 months now ... I think this is the first time I really acknowledged how I felt about not saying goodbye. Damn.