I've gotta warn you ... This is a far heavier topic than normal. I've been on a roll lately with the issue of sex but its been pretty light hearted and hopefully encouraging. One of my followers just reminded me of a darker side to sex. I was 13 my first time with a boy at school (summer before high school) who was 16 and I had a big crush on him. I didn't look 13. We were down at the lake one night. It was not a great experience but certainly not traumatic. In fact, I asked my dad to give permission to go on the pill. To which my father replied "well you could have sex with me, I can't get you pregnant". That grossed me out. When I was younger and he was leaving for the week, he'd come say good bye to me and cop a feel. I developed very early and was in a training bra at 9. I didn't tell my mom though. But I did discover that I quite liked sex, even if it was for the wrong reasons. There were a lot of guys through high school and my 20's until I met Barry.
There were a lot of guys I regretted the day after but it was my choice. The bouncer at the club my girl and I frequented was the closest I ever came to date rape. He was juiced up on 'roids and I needed more then hey baby to get ready for him. I wanted him. Big bodybuilder with a killer south african accent. He liked my girtlfriend but settled for me. Stupid what we put up with sometimes. I tried to get him to stop but he wouldn't. I got scared. He eventually figured out that it simply wasn't going to work if he didn't get me wet enough. So we had sex, he left and I cried myself to sleep. And never saw him again.
Thankfully those are my worst sexual experiences and except for my dad, it was more a case of dumb choices. I did eventually tell my mom about dad but I think it was after he died.
But I know that there are an unbelievably large number of people (mostly women but not always) who have suffered actual sexual abuse, rape. Its unacceptable. What makes people (mostly men but not always) think that they are entitled to just take what they want with absolutely no regard for how it will affect the abused?
I am by no means qualified to say what should or should not be done about it. But I do know that suffering in silence helps no one. We all need to listen a little more closely to those who are trying to tell us something but they're afraid to.
For those who have experienced abuse, please speak to someone. Please don't be afraid. Whether the abuser is a family member, a co worker or a stranger, please talk to someone. Please don't suffer in silence.