Saturday, November 14, 2009

Regrets ... what a waste of time

I must admit that it was hubby's last post (awesome post B) that inspired me to write this.

I learned a long time ago that regretting one's actions is a waste of time. That's not to say that we should just do whatever we want with no regard to anyone else's feelings or any fallout that can happen from our actions. I just mean that once something is done, it's kinda hard to take it back.

My mom regretted so much in life and consequently was very unhappy. I tried and tried to explain to her that regrets don't get you anyway. They just make you unhappy and miserable and it takes away the time that you have to be thankful for your life.

My mother-in-law does the same thing. Things seem somewhat better now ... at least we don't hear about it any more ... but for a while there ... OMG .. I thought I was listening to my own mother. We tried with her too ... to explain that regrets are a waste of time ... live in the present, not the past. It's done. You can't change it. Just get on with life and be the best you can be in the present and the future.

Trust me, I'm not all about roses and sunshine, although I must admit it takes up the majority of my thoughts and actions ... life's too short to get bogged down with the rest of the crap. I have my bad days ... days I wished I had done something else. But whether it's blowing off a workout (which I did yesterday) or blowing my nutrition (which I did Thursday night and all day Friday) or leaving a job (which it turns out was a really good decision) or being in a bad relationship (and trust me, I've had my fair share of those ... of course not the one I'm in now), or other questionable things I've done in my 20's, I can't regret any of it. I might not be particularly happy about it, might be a little embarassed about some of it.

But as I told my mother on many, many occasions, if I hadn't done what I did, experienced what I had, then I wouldn't be the person who I am. She, like most mothers, want to spare their children pain and heartache. I understand that. But it's through the pain and heartache that we learn about ourselves, that we grow and learn and become stronger people.

So try not to waste valuable emotion of looking back ... learn from your experiences but leave them in the past. You'll probably be much happier for it.


  1. "...if I hadn't done what I did, experienced what I had, then I wouldn't be the person who I am."

    I love this line and I've always said the same. Becoming who we are is a process of going through both good and bad times. I think you face life with less regret than I do, but I believe I'm getting better. :)


  2. It is SO easy to dwell on the past and what could have been, if just one tiny little change in decision had been made. I try not to do this b/c it drives me insane. But I do find myself thinking this way when it comes to stuff like break-ups or accidents. Sometimes, I will mentally torture myself by wishing so badly I had done something different at the time. But it's really so only makes you feel worse. You can't turn back time or change anything.
    And I agree with you: these mistakes or incidents make us the person we are today. We grow from them and learn from them.
    This was an excellent post.