Sunday, January 31, 2010

Freedom to be ourselves

A few things that I've read and heard in the past couple of days have made me think about this.  I hated my teens ... it was a really rough time in my life and consequently have forgotten most of it.  My 20's were mixed.  Partied a lot; dated a lot.  But my life felt a little empty.  And then it happened.  My sister was on Telepersonals.  I decided to join.  After meeting numerous guys and not making a real connection with any of them, I met Barry.  And my life was changed forever.
My 30's were fabulous ... got married, got on with my career, met some great people.  Had some financial challenges but they got worked out.  Moved back home with my folks ... Barry and I helped as much as we could ... lost my dad (boo) but lots of positive things.  Turning 30 was great ... 35 not so much ... I was halfway to 40.
Then I actually hit 40 and things have been turbulent.  Lots of good stuff; some bad.  But isn't that life?
I'm 6 days off my 45th birthday and I've been struggling with it a little.  That and my weight.  But I'm working on the weight issue.  The birthday issue ... not much I can do about that.
But what I have realized is that with maturity comes clarity.  And the attitude that this is my life and this is who I am and if you don't like it ... your loss.  I'm not trying to please others (at least not as much as I used to).  I prefer to be liked and well thought of.  I try to treat others as I want to be treated.  And for the most part, people appreciate that.  But we're not going to be liked by everyone and that's ok.
I had been trying to wait to get my hair done for another couple of weeks but Friday I had had it.  I called the salon and booked my appointment.  I have this amazing hair stylist.  he's not your typical hair stylist.  He's early 50's, hair mid-way down his back and looks like a rocker.  But he's married with 2 kids and loves his wife and he's an awesome human being.  And he made me gorgeous today.  I'm back to the very blond look.  |I'll post a pic tomorrow.
In Leah's post today, she talked about being herself.  Her style is totally different from mine.  But it works for her and I totally respect that.  Would I like to see her in colour?  Absolutely!  But that's irrelevant.  She is comfortable in her look and that's all that matters. 
I realized that I've finally gotten my wardrobe so it makes sense.  It's all pretty consistent ... it's a lot more cohesive than it was.  It has a lot of colour and pattern.  But that's me and I'm good with that.
Isn't it great that we can be ourselves?   There's less peer pressure to conform when you get in your 40's.  And fashion right now is so diverse.  It used to be minis or maxis.  Tight or baggy.  Ultra feminine or mannish.  But now, pretty much anything goes.  The important thing is to dress our own body type and figure out what our style is.  Never mind what the latest trend is.  What looks good on you and makes you feel great?  That's what you should be wearing!

"Life, the ultimate challenge, is not a race to the finish but rather a process of continued growth."


  1. Early Happy Birthday, Sandy!

    My mom used to say that every day above ground is a good day because it beats the alternative. The older I get, the more I appreciate the simple wisdom in these words.

    I'm hoping to get my hair cut tomorrow. It is amazing how much better I feel about myself when my hair looks better than it does right now! And that has never changed, no matter what my age happens to be!

  2. Merry Birthday...almost!

    I have major issues being comfortable in my own skin, and I work on it daily. I guess we all do, but you seem to be succeeding and I am so glad.

  3. Happy, Happy Early Birthday, Sandy!

    Cast your worries about your age and weight aside - you are gorgeous, and you are as young as you want to be! :)

  4. Ohh Sandy I'm happy you did this post. I'm trying so hard lately to be myself. Not to care that I'm wearing sneakers cuz my feet hurt, & not try to be something I'm not. I'm just trying to be comfortable & happy. I'm also almost 25 & its hitting me. What is it with the years that end in 5 huh? I'm so glad you got your hair done all pretty! I can't wait to see a pic!! I'm going to try this week to be myself.