Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Day 10 of 84 - When your spouse isn't completely on board

I married an amazing man.  Despite the weight gain, the broken promises to get back in shape, the binge eating, asking him to help me stay on track and then getting pissed off when he said something, he always supported me.  More or less.

He's never really struggled with his weight.  He's about 14 pounds heavier than he was in high school.  Not bad.  I certainlly can't say that.  he doesn't understand how hard it is.  How, no matter how badly you want it, it's really hard to stick with it sometimes.  I had a very bad relationship with food.  I was, yes, was, a compulsive, emotional eater.  Barry can eat 2 cookies; I would have 10 or 12.  Instead of a small bag of popcorn, potato chips, whatever, it was the family size.  And I'd eat the entire bag in one day.  Then I'd feel like crap.

I tried exercising.  I couldn't seem to stay consistent.  There was always something going on at night.  The gym didn't open early enough and I wouldn't be able to get Barry to drive me at some ungodly hour anyway.  So I bought the Bowflex and a Gazelle.  Still didn't get consistent.  Then my manager left the company and 3 months later my mom died.  The stress level changed.  My attitude changed.  Barry had always balked at me working out early.  I finally had to have a heart to heart with him and explain that the only way I was going to accomplish this, was to get up early.  It took a little adjustment, but he's able to get back to sleep now which helps a lot.

We would always have junk in the house.  I used to be a very visual eater.  Even if I wasn't hungry, if I saw something I liked, I'd eat it.  Even if I wasn't hungry.  Can you tell I struggled a lot with food.  And having someone at home who could basically eat whatever he wanted didn't help.  So I asked him to keep his food in his studio.  Then he started to gain a bit and I knew where he kept his stash so I'd go raid it once in a while but it was still better than before.

I'm not sure when it all changed.   I feel a lot better.  I have a very long way to go.  I realized that one of the reasons why I don't like a lot of my pics is that I'm all chest.  I didn't really see that until my gf mentioned it.  And I looked at my pics differently and I noticed that she was right.  Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go in the tummy area ... but I'm starting to feel better.  When I saw my pics at the wedding in Sept, I realized that I wasn't that fat.  I looked a lot better than I thought I did.

I don't think the same way I did.  I eat healthy ... most of the time.  I exercise 6 days a week ... most of the time.  I'm surrounding myself with more people who are on the same journey as I am.  Only some of these people have 100, 200 pounds to drop.  THEY inspire me.  They're amazing.  I'm trying to cheer them on as much as I can.  I know how much it means to me when you cheer me on.  You know, the whole "pay it forward" thing.  It's so important to lift each other up.  There are more than enough people who will try to drag you down.

So if you have a spouse (or anyone in your household actually), lay it on the line for them.  Tell them what you need.   If they don't help, don't let that stop you.  Show them by your example.  Prove them wrong.

You CAN do this!  We can do it together .....


  1. My husband is ALWAYS bringing in junk food. I have such a hard time resisting. Not so much lately, but it has been one of my biggest pitfalls.

  2. How is it that so many men can eat what they want and never seem to gain any weight?!?

    Rian eats more than I do and it doesn't show. It pisses me off. Lol.

    I am with you. It is hard to try and lose weight when you're doing it alone. I have heard a lot of women lose weight faster when they have a workout buddy. It makes it more fun, I think, and certainly helps motivate you more. I wish I had that. Someone to go on early morning runs with and someone to take an aerobics class with me and someone who insists on eating super healthy for lunch, rather than tempting me with a burger...sigh.

    I really wish we lived in the same town, Sandy.