Sunday, January 9, 2011

Looking Forward ... and Back

I am a firm believer in looking forward to the future.  Too many people look back and dwell on the past and regret what they have or have not done with their life.  I refuse to do this.  This is my philosophy and I certainly don't expect anyone else to agree with me on this, although I know a lot of people do.  It's really hard not to look back with regret.  There will always be things that you have or have not done in your life that you will wish that you did, or didn't do.  I there there are those things for me too, I simply choose not to dwell, not to regret.  I cannot change the past, only the future.

One of my colleagues recently said she really looked up to me.  I can't tell you how much this meant to me.  She tends to take things very personally, to fret about things she cannot change and to get downright miserable sometimes, when in fact, she is simply withdrawing.  She asked me how I usually seem to just roll with the punches.  I told her that I used to be a lot like her, which is why I understand her better I guess.

Somewhere along the line, I don't know when, the end of 2008 (which was probably the worst year of my life) I think, I realized that most things are not worth getting worried or upset about.  The weather, changing company policies, the actions or reactions of others, world events, the list could go on and on.  My way of coping, of keeping my life on track, of keeping my sanity, is to simply accept what I cannot change.  I don't have to like it.  But there are some things we simply do not have any control over.  So why fret.  I may seem to not care to some people.  How wrong they are.  I care too deeply, and this is my coping mechanism.

But there are times that's it good to look back ... but only to remind yourself of what doesn't work ... not to dwell, but to learn.  I track my lifestyle change (nutrition, workouts, encouragement of others) on my calendar.  This way I can go back and see at a glance when and where I went wrong, or when I was spot on.  Winters are a challenge mostly because I've always gotten sick.  This year will be different.  Not only do I take a bunch of vitamins and eat healthy, I also use oil of oregano every day.  It tastes horrible but it works.  I pay more attention to my body.  If I'm feeling run down, I'll take it easy for a day or two and up my oregano; perhaps get a little more sleep.

My point on this matter is that while it's important to check back once in a while to make sure you're on track, to change the things that you can from the past (exercise, nutrition to name just two ... these are things you can change going foward), its vitally important to keep looking forward.  Rather than dwelling on the fact that you've tried and "failed" in the past, doesn't mean that you can't change the outcome in the future.  What the past might tell you though, is that what you did before didn't work ... and you need to change your plan of attack.

Life your life in the present ... don't forget about the past ... just learn from it.

To looking forward ....

This is me at 22.  Perfect example of looking back to what works (this is the shape I will be in by the end of this year) and what didn't (shoulder pads, short hair and lots of makeup)



  1. "What the past might tell you though, is that what you did before didn't work ... and you need to change your plan of attack."

    So true, and a good example of looking back on things positively instead of dwelling.


    PS: I think the short hair works on you here, but those shoulder pads...

  2. Nice pic of you, never saw that one before. Very Dynasty-ish!! It's funny you should mention about dwelling about the past. One of my major problems. I passed a roadside sign the other day that said "Live your imagination, not your past history". I thought it was pretty good advice.

  3. I appreciate this post very much! I think it's really only been the last couple of years that I have truly been learning to recognize how important it is to see which I can and cannot control, and to let GO of those things over which I really don't have control.

    What you said here struck me:
    "...accept what I cannot change. I don't have to like it....I may seem to not care to some people. How wrong they are. I care too deeply, and this is my coping mechanism."

    Yes! I can identify with that. I DO care, very much, and can get so frustrated and hurt over the injustices and things I wish I could change... but need to learn to let it go. And focus on things I can actually do something about.

    I also am learning to LEARN from the past, then let it go. I do have a couple of major regrets... I wish I knew how you arrived at the place of "no regrets". Maybe some time you might post about that??

    Thank you for a thought-provoking post.

  4. Your positivity and motivation really inspire me, every time I read your blog. You have a gift, I swear. :)

    Question: Oil of oregano? Is this something you use in cooking?

    I need to start taking vitamins again. That is my goal for 2011.

    I hope you had a wonderful weekend. xoxo