Thursday, July 16, 2009

enjoying life ...

things are good. did a good cardio and yoga workout this morning. Eating was a little off. I do much better when I have meal replacement bars. It's the whole structure thing....

so I wore my last remaining skirt from my "really fat" days. I thought I'd keep it. Don't like it. I mean it looked ok; nothing wrong with it. Except I've gotten used to everything being very fitted and having to pull in my abs. The skirt was rather large, had an elasticized waist and no structure (there's that word again). I'm learning what my style is. I mean I looked good today and attracted some attention but I wasn't happy. I didn't feel great in my clothes. I don't like that feeling. I'm happy to say that with the progress I've made so far I can be a little pickier. Now if I don't love it or feel great in it, I don't get it, don't wear it, whatever. There's a few tops I bought a few years ago and had "outgrown" some time ago. They're gorgeous and I feel good in them. I'll be able to get back into them soon.

I don't know how to explain how I feel. I don't think I've ever been here before. And I just want to help others who have felt how I did. It was not a good place to be. Depression seems to run rampant in my family. I'm probably one of the luckier ones. But I refuse to let it get the better of me. The exercising helps HUGE and highly recommend it for EVERYONE. It doesn't have to run your life and depending on your situation, it doesn't have to be really strenuous. But eating healthy foods and just moving makes such a big difference. We all have our reasons. our motivations...

I have a long way to go to get to my goals but I'm working toward it. Every day. I try really hard never to regret the things I've done. I may not like what I've done or what's happened but regret is such a wasted emotion. If you can't change something in the past, why regret it. Learn from it. Don't do it again. But love and respect yourself enough to say "never again" and keep moving forward. I know it's easier said than done. It's easy to wallow in the past. I've seen what regret can do to people. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time being fat. But I can't do anything about that. I can, however, make changes now to determine a better future.

So have a great day and keep looking and moving forward!


  1. You need to ditch that skirt. It might give you an excuse to not keep up your work out if you know you have something to hide in... you look great now you have worked to hard and come too far for one piece of clothing to blow it.

    Keep up the great work.

  2. Thanks LeeAnn. I sometimes wonder if I'm really making that much progress but then a day like today comes along and I wore my beige skort that I had on at the party and it's getting really loose on me. Good problem to have....
    It was great to see you and Bruce again. I think a BBQ is in order. Waddya think?