Toxic People

This post has been inspired by a couple of very special people.  People who deserve much better in life ... in their relationships.

We've all encountered toxic people.  They're the people that tear you down, make you feel like crap about yourself.  People who, in reality, have no place in your life.  Even if they're your parents.

I loved my mom very much.  Unfortunately we had a somewhat rough relationship.  Most of the time we were ok.  But man, when it came to my weight ... she was difficult to say the least.  She harrassed me for years about my weight ... but I just kept getting fatter.  Until she died.  And now I'm in the best shape I've been in for a very long time.  There were other issues, but I think that was the worst.  There's nothing quite like having the person who gave birth to you, who's supposed to love you unconditionally, tell you you're fat and you need to lose weight.  Of course it was under the guise of my health.  Yeah, right.

Then there's my girlfriend J.  She and I have been friends for almost 4 years now.  She's changed a lot.  Matured a lot.  She had a friend who drove her crazy.  None of her other friends liked this woman.  She was so demanding.  Stalkerish.  She stressed J out.  J has been a much happier person since she fianlly told this woman to leave.  I'm so proud of her.

Then there's the issue of men and women.  I had a man in my life for about 14 or 15 years.  I met him when I was 14.  He was almost 20.  I know, by today's standards it's creepy.  30 years ago (OMG am I REALLY that OLD!), not so much.  Mom had a bird, Dad was cool.  But that's a whole other story.  Vince and I just kept each other around like a really comfortable pair of slippers.  That give you splinters!  Last time I heard from him was about 13 years ago ... when I told him I was getting married.  Far as I know he's still alive and living somewhere in the States.  My life is much better without him.  We really weren't good for each other.

We have a couple of friends who were involved in almost 10 year relationships with controlling women.  Thankfully they both saw the light, left their respective shrews and are in fabulous relationships with amazing women.  I love them both so much!

So whether they are "friends", other halves or family members ... anyone can be toxic.  Sometimes we can get rid of the offender like our friends did ... other times you can't.  They're a sibling or a parent.  The best you can do is try to ignore them.  They are, after all, only human.  And people only have as much power over us as we let them.  So if a parent is being cruel, either tell them to go to hell, or just walk away.  You don't have to listen to them if they're upsetting you that much.  They don't have the right to belittle you.  If you're an adult especially, they need to learn to treat you with respect.  That they can't treat you like garbage and be cruel and belittling.  And sometimes we have to push back and say "enough".

So here's to ridding ourselves of the toxic people ... or at least learning to deal with them if we can't get rid of them.  Life is too short, too precious ... we ALL deserve to be happy and loved and respected.