I had another post ready to go but this has been weighing on my heart way too much.
Thursday was one of the most rollcoaster days I've had in a long time.
First we found out one of our staff members from another office was let go under difficult circumstances.
Then I confirmed lunch with a friend who had to postpone me from Tuesday at the last minute
Then I got an email from a former colleague and friend that a mutual colleauge had died ... he was 50.
Then I went for lunch with my friend.
Then I got handed a bear of a lease ... then my client emailed with questions on another one. Urgh!
Then I left work and met Barry and we went to the funeral home for the visitation. I didn't see anyone from Brian and my former employer but I did bump into a couple from my current job who Brian had sold a house to. Tiny, tiny world.
Then we stopped at Aren't We Naughty, found a GORGEOUS black garter belt with rhinestones around the waist and rhinestones on the straps which I HAVE to get soon and bought some sexy undies.
Got home, had a shower and went to bed.....
I was really happy to see Friday. Thursday was probably one of the most emotional days I've had in a long time. It was just constantly up and down.
For some reason, Brian's death has hit me hard. Maybe because he wasn't quite 51. Maybe it's because we had lost track of each other years ago and then about 4 or 5 weeks ago, he popped into my head out of the blue. Apparently he was diagnosed with Lymphoma about a year ago, went through chemo and was doing better. Then about 6 weeks ago, he took a turn for the worse. And 5 weeks later (on Oct 31st), he was gone.
He was this amazing guy, who everyone loved; easy going, caring, a talented pianist, loving father of 2 and husband of Anna for 30 years. I guess it makes me realize, once again, just how short and precious life is. It makes me so sad that I lose track of people. That life is just so FREEKING BUSY and I try to keep up with people but between working out, going to work, chores around the house, trying to eat healthy, spend time with hubby, running errands, blah, blah, blah, and going to bed at 10 when I get home at 6 at the earliest, it's frustrating.
To make matters worse, one of the most important people in my life had been travelling the world, was supposed to be back around the end of September but hadn't let me know he was back. And although he's in great health, he's 58, travelling to South Africa, Europe, Russia, I was suddenly worried. I didn't think much of it before Brian but I did talk to him on Friday so that's put my mind at ease about that.
In reality, I "take care of people". My mom always called me a frustrated mother since I didn't have kids of my own (my choice), I "mothered" others. I need to know that my "chicks" are all ok. When we had the big blackout in August of I can't remember what year ... I think it was 6 or 7 years ago.... my mind wouldn't rest until I knew that my mom, my sister, brother and especially Barry were all ok. I can't help it. It's just who I am.
So my "resolution" going forward is to make the time to keep in touch with people; both people who are current in my life, as well as touch base with those I haven't talked to in a while. And if that means scheduling calls and emails in my BB, I will do that. And make sure that I'm using my BB productively and keeping in touch with people.
So take care of yourself, keep in touch as I will, hug your kids, your spouse, your friends ... and remember that without people in our lives, it's a very lonely place.