I don't know about you. But every so often you come across a post that someone writes that is so powerful, so overwhelming and so inspiring, it brings you to your knees.
One of my favourite bloggers has been to hell and back. Her post today brought me to tears. I just didn't know how to comment. So I thought the most honour I could do was to link to her post (here).
HHL is one of the most inspiring women I have ever "met". Despite 3 years of intensive rehab, which she continues to this day, both physical and emotion, she is so supportive, so strong, so determined. Of course she has her bad days (like all of us) but she keeps going. I don't know where she gets her strength. What an incredible testament to the human spirit and the power of prayer.
Thank you HHL - you truly inspire me and help me keep things in perspective.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The first guest post that I wrote ....
I recently wrote a guest post at Life after College (post here) . It was a lot of fun to look back at my adult life, especially living through the 80's.
Jill's blog is great for those who don't know her. It's interesting to get the perspective of someone half my age. I encourage you to check her site. I think you'll really enjoy it.
It's not raining right now so I think I'm going to seize the opportunit to get out in the gardens and do some weeding and cleaning up. Yeesh!
Hope you all have an awesome day!
Jill's blog is great for those who don't know her. It's interesting to get the perspective of someone half my age. I encourage you to check her site. I think you'll really enjoy it.
It's not raining right now so I think I'm going to seize the opportunit to get out in the gardens and do some weeding and cleaning up. Yeesh!
Hope you all have an awesome day!
Friday, June 25, 2010
My sister
If you haven't picked up on this yet, I'm very proud of my sister. Like everyone else, she's faced a lot of challenges from getting married at 18, first child 15 months later and a second 17 months after that, dealing with a divorce, a suicide, becoming a grandmother (although that's the twins are the light of her life I'm sure), losing various pets over the years, especially Riley (think Odie ... Garfield's pal), moving, moving, forever moving. And she's trying to move again if she can ever sell her house. I'm not sure what the problem is 'cause it's a nice house ... not huge but a decent size on 1.2 acres of land in the Georgian Bay area, losing important people in her life. She was diagnosed about 10 years ago with HOCM (hypertropic obstructive cardiomyopathy - say that 5 times fast after a few beverages) LOL and recently with diabetes. Then there was the fight with the insurance company.....
As you probably know, she's just had surgery. She was in desperate need of having her gall bladder removed and she fought it for a long time until she couldn't any more. Her doctor suggested weight loss surgery since they were going to be in there anyway. So she embarked on this journey. It's been a frustrating, difficult rollercoaster of a journey over the past 7 months. I think the gall bladder helped speed things along. Given her health challenges, do you wonder why I was so agitated about her surgery?
Now the hard part starts for her ... re-training her attitude and habits to healthier ones. Gone are the days of just "grabbing a bite" of whatever ... although she won't be eating much more than a bite ... 1/2 c. of food per meal. OMG ... I don't think I could do that. Gone are the days of stopping at the local drive-thru for something totally laden in fat and sodium ... and totally devoid of nutrition. There's a downside to this?? Seriously, I don't think I could do that.
I know the past decade or so has been really tough on her. Because of the HOCM she's can't exercise like you and I can. And the weight just kept going on. I was surprised when I saw her at Easter. It had been 3 years and I thought, from the way she was talking, that she was much bigger than she is. But it's more the health implications that had me concerned. HOCM isn't caused by carrying excess weight ... but I'm sure the extra weight makes it harder.
A friend of ours asked me if I was ok with this. I mean, she's going to lose a lot of weight very quickly. She lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks on the liquid diet she had to be on prior to the surgery. I suspect it will continue to be very rapid. I, on the other hand, will take a while. I have to be more diligent, but it's still going to take me a lot longer to lose what I need to compared to her. But I'm totally cool with that. She needs to get the weight off quickly. It'll help her heart, her diabetes, and did I mention severe sleep apnea. I'm amazed (and extremely happy) that's she's still with us with all her challenges.
But she has dealt with all of this, and retained a wicked, warped, crazy sense of humour and I'm so very proud of her. She's home now from the hospital but still really tired. It'll take a few days but I'm sure not having the constant pain from the gall bladder alone will make her feel better.
So here's to a thinner, and more importantly, healthier sister ... I love her very much.
As you probably know, she's just had surgery. She was in desperate need of having her gall bladder removed and she fought it for a long time until she couldn't any more. Her doctor suggested weight loss surgery since they were going to be in there anyway. So she embarked on this journey. It's been a frustrating, difficult rollercoaster of a journey over the past 7 months. I think the gall bladder helped speed things along. Given her health challenges, do you wonder why I was so agitated about her surgery?
Now the hard part starts for her ... re-training her attitude and habits to healthier ones. Gone are the days of just "grabbing a bite" of whatever ... although she won't be eating much more than a bite ... 1/2 c. of food per meal. OMG ... I don't think I could do that. Gone are the days of stopping at the local drive-thru for something totally laden in fat and sodium ... and totally devoid of nutrition. There's a downside to this?? Seriously, I don't think I could do that.
I know the past decade or so has been really tough on her. Because of the HOCM she's can't exercise like you and I can. And the weight just kept going on. I was surprised when I saw her at Easter. It had been 3 years and I thought, from the way she was talking, that she was much bigger than she is. But it's more the health implications that had me concerned. HOCM isn't caused by carrying excess weight ... but I'm sure the extra weight makes it harder.
A friend of ours asked me if I was ok with this. I mean, she's going to lose a lot of weight very quickly. She lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks on the liquid diet she had to be on prior to the surgery. I suspect it will continue to be very rapid. I, on the other hand, will take a while. I have to be more diligent, but it's still going to take me a lot longer to lose what I need to compared to her. But I'm totally cool with that. She needs to get the weight off quickly. It'll help her heart, her diabetes, and did I mention severe sleep apnea. I'm amazed (and extremely happy) that's she's still with us with all her challenges.
But she has dealt with all of this, and retained a wicked, warped, crazy sense of humour and I'm so very proud of her. She's home now from the hospital but still really tired. It'll take a few days but I'm sure not having the constant pain from the gall bladder alone will make her feel better.
So here's to a thinner, and more importantly, healthier sister ... I love her very much.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Fighting the good fight.
So I got back into the habit of working out 6 days a week. I've missed a couple of Fridays (my 6th day of the week) but I've fought myself to get out of bed at stupid o'clock most days.
Mostly my nutrition is ok but the portions are getting out of hand again. Still drinking too much coffee and not enough water.
I've been lax about consisting blogging and commenting. So much for the universal law of reciprocation and encouraging people.
This is the 3-pronged approach to Body for Life. I'm trying. Life keeps getting in the way. Actually, I've been letting life get in the way. I know what to do. I've been doing it for over a year. But I've gotten complacent. I don't have time for complacency....
Some would say that it's understandable how life can take over considering everything that's been doing on the past several weeks. But reallly ... I get up early and workout. Preparing fruits and veggies doesn't take that much time ... I don't know why I put off making my fruit salad (which is very easy, very yummy and very nutritious ... lots of antioxidants!) ... it takes 10 minutes to make. Veggies take about 10-15 minutes to prepare, depending on how many I have to do. So why aren't I making my health a priority????
Diabetes and heart disease run rampant in my family. My sugar has been too high for too long altho' my dr. doesn't seem to be concerned. I've been the same for years. I guess it's normal for me. My dad always ran a little high too. Go figure.
My sister's sugars were not good ... this surgery will make a huge difference. My brother's sugars (they're both diabetic) were not good. He's joined a gym.
My "Lesson for Life" today talked about putting your hands firmly on the steering wheel and driving instead of just going for a ride. It's so easy when you just let your hands go, how easy it is to slack off and things get out of control. The weight goes up, the health and fitness level goes down.
As of today, I am being more vigilant with my journaling ... not just writing things down, but actually following them. I'm going to be a big fruit salad, chop up the veggies and boil up some eggs. Egg whites are one of the staples of my diet for protein. I will make sure that any time I shop, I take care of the produce right away.
Veggies and protein are the best for me. Sandwiches are easy for lunches for work but I don't love carbs and they sure don't love me. Actually, I think they do since they love to stick around LOL. The trick is to find what works for you ... and STICK WITH IT! Consistency really is the key.
When I started on this journey in March 2009, I was so committed and I kept up with it. And I saw good results ... maybe not as good or as fast as I wanted, but I'm not 20 any more. It's going to require a little more time and effort. But I can't go back. It's not an option any more. I used to give up so easily but I've fought too hard for too long and made too much progress to blow it now.
So I will continue to fight for my goals. After all, my sis and I are gonna be a couple of hot chicks in a few months ... we'll help each other and encourage each other. After all, that's what it's all about ... helping.
Mostly my nutrition is ok but the portions are getting out of hand again. Still drinking too much coffee and not enough water.
I've been lax about consisting blogging and commenting. So much for the universal law of reciprocation and encouraging people.
This is the 3-pronged approach to Body for Life. I'm trying. Life keeps getting in the way. Actually, I've been letting life get in the way. I know what to do. I've been doing it for over a year. But I've gotten complacent. I don't have time for complacency....
Some would say that it's understandable how life can take over considering everything that's been doing on the past several weeks. But reallly ... I get up early and workout. Preparing fruits and veggies doesn't take that much time ... I don't know why I put off making my fruit salad (which is very easy, very yummy and very nutritious ... lots of antioxidants!) ... it takes 10 minutes to make. Veggies take about 10-15 minutes to prepare, depending on how many I have to do. So why aren't I making my health a priority????
Diabetes and heart disease run rampant in my family. My sugar has been too high for too long altho' my dr. doesn't seem to be concerned. I've been the same for years. I guess it's normal for me. My dad always ran a little high too. Go figure.
My sister's sugars were not good ... this surgery will make a huge difference. My brother's sugars (they're both diabetic) were not good. He's joined a gym.
My "Lesson for Life" today talked about putting your hands firmly on the steering wheel and driving instead of just going for a ride. It's so easy when you just let your hands go, how easy it is to slack off and things get out of control. The weight goes up, the health and fitness level goes down.
As of today, I am being more vigilant with my journaling ... not just writing things down, but actually following them. I'm going to be a big fruit salad, chop up the veggies and boil up some eggs. Egg whites are one of the staples of my diet for protein. I will make sure that any time I shop, I take care of the produce right away.
Veggies and protein are the best for me. Sandwiches are easy for lunches for work but I don't love carbs and they sure don't love me. Actually, I think they do since they love to stick around LOL. The trick is to find what works for you ... and STICK WITH IT! Consistency really is the key.
When I started on this journey in March 2009, I was so committed and I kept up with it. And I saw good results ... maybe not as good or as fast as I wanted, but I'm not 20 any more. It's going to require a little more time and effort. But I can't go back. It's not an option any more. I used to give up so easily but I've fought too hard for too long and made too much progress to blow it now.
So I will continue to fight for my goals. After all, my sis and I are gonna be a couple of hot chicks in a few months ... we'll help each other and encourage each other. After all, that's what it's all about ... helping.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Surgery Update
Firstly I wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers and messages. My sister's surgery was 2 1/2 hours, 4 hours of recovery and we saw her after and she looks good. I am so unbelievably relieved I can't tell you.
As much as I tried to keep my thoughts positive and push down the panic, the past couple of days was really hard to fight the fear. Both my parents are gone. I'm not close to my brother; his son has disowned the family, his daughter I see one or twice a year. My sister's kids are great but we're not particularly close. I haven't seen her son in about 3 or 4 years; her daughter is closest. I just couldn't bear to lose someone else.
There's always a risk, even with a healthy person, when they go under general anaesthetic; my sister was at high risk.
She's not completely out of the woods yet but I'm sure everything will be fine.
I feel like I can breathe again.
So thank you all for your support. It means a lot :)
As much as I tried to keep my thoughts positive and push down the panic, the past couple of days was really hard to fight the fear. Both my parents are gone. I'm not close to my brother; his son has disowned the family, his daughter I see one or twice a year. My sister's kids are great but we're not particularly close. I haven't seen her son in about 3 or 4 years; her daughter is closest. I just couldn't bear to lose someone else.
There's always a risk, even with a healthy person, when they go under general anaesthetic; my sister was at high risk.
She's not completely out of the woods yet but I'm sure everything will be fine.
I feel like I can breathe again.
So thank you all for your support. It means a lot :)
Monday, June 21, 2010
tomorrow's the big day
So at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow (Tuesday), my sister goes for her surgery. It should be all over and done with by 10 a.m. And I'll be able to breathe easier. And I'm finished working downtown until after the G20. Thank God! The only negative thing ... all the men in uniform I have to pass every morning and evening. *sigh* the price we have to pay LOL
Today was a really rough day. I was trying to wrap up loose ends at work. I hate to get to the chiropractor (by subway) mid-morning and then work through my lunch, one of my friends at work wasn't in (she keeps me grounded), another friend was on the verge of a panic attack (and she's usually the calm one) and I was keeping it together somewhat but periodically would feel like I was going to jump out of my skin.
Tomorrow I'll be better. Thank you for your support. It's been a tough few weeks. I may not always leave comments, but for the most part I am keeping up on what's happening with everyone.
Today was a really rough day. I was trying to wrap up loose ends at work. I hate to get to the chiropractor (by subway) mid-morning and then work through my lunch, one of my friends at work wasn't in (she keeps me grounded), another friend was on the verge of a panic attack (and she's usually the calm one) and I was keeping it together somewhat but periodically would feel like I was going to jump out of my skin.
Tomorrow I'll be better. Thank you for your support. It's been a tough few weeks. I may not always leave comments, but for the most part I am keeping up on what's happening with everyone.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
another crazy week ...
I've hardly spent any time on the computer doing anything this week. There have been big computer problems (TWICE) at work, big pow wow in my department (it was emotional ... get four 40-something women together ... yeah, we brought in the tissuse), stressed out of my mind, drinks with my girl Trish, Barry's workouts and I've lost track of everything. It seems like I don't sit down until 8:00 (and that's usually for dinner these days) and I go to be bed at 10:00 so it doesn't leave me much time to do much of anything. I haven't been updating my workout journal lately, haven't been blogging, haven't done much of anything.
Let's see, there's the G20 which is turning Toronto upside down. Some idiot (politician) said that downtown Toronto is very quiet on the weekends and there would be minimal disruption. Yeah, right! Never mind the 3 weeks leading up to it, the fencing which has blocked off half the lanes around the core and it's going to get much worse next week. Don't you just love the spin doctors??? URGH!
Anyway, so my sister's surgery is in 3 days and I did get the day off (yay) and Barry's actually off on Monday and Tuesday so at least he'll be able to drive me to the hospital instead of me spending the entire day there. I'm looking forward to seeing my sister and her daughter and the boys again. I can't wait until this is over. Her life is about to change drastically and I couldn't be happier for her.
Then there's a very special friend of mine who I've known for about 21 years. He's resigned from his job, he's leaving on the 29th for Johannesburg for the World Cup finals, then off to Cairo and perhaps Europe so he may be gone for anywhere from 3-8 weeks. And I'm very happy and excited for him. So I told him he had to meet me for lunch before he left the country. We usually only get together every couple of months or so. We don't chat on the phone often or even email that often. And he's going to get a Blackberry and keep in touch. The fact that he has been one of the most important men in my life besides my husband and my father, and we have a very special bond that I don't think will ever be broken, is making this more difficult. But I think the fact that he's actually leaving the country, my sister going for surgery and the stress of G20, it's become a perfect storm for me and the whole thing has left me a little wigged out.
But G20 is almost over, my sister's surgery is almost here and Trish has told me she will be fine and I do believe that but I'm a fretter, and 2 months will be gone before I know it. My head knows this is all very temporary and I will make it through to the other side of all this fully intact and perhaps a little stronger for it. But it's the process! And I REALLY need to focus on my workouts again. I've been pretty consistent this week and my eating hasn't been too bad but the alcohol intake has been a little much. And we're off to a birthday party tonight which should be a blast! We'll have to post a video soon (once we figure out how to do it) of Barry's performance tonight. That's all I'm saying about it ... but it'll be on both our blogs soon.
You know the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? Just call me Super Woman!
Let's see, there's the G20 which is turning Toronto upside down. Some idiot (politician) said that downtown Toronto is very quiet on the weekends and there would be minimal disruption. Yeah, right! Never mind the 3 weeks leading up to it, the fencing which has blocked off half the lanes around the core and it's going to get much worse next week. Don't you just love the spin doctors??? URGH!
Anyway, so my sister's surgery is in 3 days and I did get the day off (yay) and Barry's actually off on Monday and Tuesday so at least he'll be able to drive me to the hospital instead of me spending the entire day there. I'm looking forward to seeing my sister and her daughter and the boys again. I can't wait until this is over. Her life is about to change drastically and I couldn't be happier for her.
Then there's a very special friend of mine who I've known for about 21 years. He's resigned from his job, he's leaving on the 29th for Johannesburg for the World Cup finals, then off to Cairo and perhaps Europe so he may be gone for anywhere from 3-8 weeks. And I'm very happy and excited for him. So I told him he had to meet me for lunch before he left the country. We usually only get together every couple of months or so. We don't chat on the phone often or even email that often. And he's going to get a Blackberry and keep in touch. The fact that he has been one of the most important men in my life besides my husband and my father, and we have a very special bond that I don't think will ever be broken, is making this more difficult. But I think the fact that he's actually leaving the country, my sister going for surgery and the stress of G20, it's become a perfect storm for me and the whole thing has left me a little wigged out.
But G20 is almost over, my sister's surgery is almost here and Trish has told me she will be fine and I do believe that but I'm a fretter, and 2 months will be gone before I know it. My head knows this is all very temporary and I will make it through to the other side of all this fully intact and perhaps a little stronger for it. But it's the process! And I REALLY need to focus on my workouts again. I've been pretty consistent this week and my eating hasn't been too bad but the alcohol intake has been a little much. And we're off to a birthday party tonight which should be a blast! We'll have to post a video soon (once we figure out how to do it) of Barry's performance tonight. That's all I'm saying about it ... but it'll be on both our blogs soon.
You know the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? Just call me Super Woman!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Happy Anniversary, Happy Anniversary ..... to us!
It's so hard to believe that at this time 13 years ago, we were giving our speeches, throwing the bouquet and garter and having a great evening. I was hoping to be able to scan our fav pic from the wedding but unfortunately my printer doesn't scan (it faxes, but it doesn't scan) and Barry's not sure how to scan on his so I'm taking it to work (I've got to show some of the girls anyway), scanning it and emailing it to myself so I'll post that tomorrow.
I don't have much time to write tongiht, just wanted to share our happy day with you. It was a 7 p.m. wedding and the reception was at my parents house (our current house ... looked a little different then inside and out). We were on a very tight budget (we thought we had an extra year, but our pastor wasn't comfortable with waiting a year since we were already "living in sin". I went to high school with him. Obviously we ran in different crowds... But it was a great ceremony ... definitely a little different ... with lots of loved ones and the weather was great, but it was a little cool. Very similar to tonight actually. We expected to have everyone outside but because it was so cool, 85 people piled into my parents' house. It was cozy, but we did it.
Unfortunately we had to work today but we went for a bite for dinner (nothing fancy but the food was great, and hot, we came home and went for a walk which we haven't done in far too long but I was so stuffed from dinner I couldn't walk too fast. Oh well.
Barry, being Barry, bought me a beautiful card and me, well, being me, missed that opportunity. So allow me to share with you (and I know he reads my blog so I know he'll read this even tho' it won't be news to him) what's so special about this man.
For one thing, he's put up with me for 13 years married but Aug. 2nd will be 18 years together. Almost 2 decades. For that, he deserves a medal. We've rarely raised our voices, only a handful of times that I remember. We've never thrown anything at each other. We don't call each other names or degrade each other. So many people think we've only been together for a couple of years. I guess because we talk highly of each other and we kinda act like newlyweds (I'm not exactly sure what that means, but whatever). We thank each other for doing things that most people probably don't. Like doing the dishes (B) or making latte (that's my job). He's kind and considerate and loving and never puts me down. We're silly together most of the time when serious when need be. We've been through so much together but instead of anything driving us apart, the hard times make us closer. Which is how it should be in my opinion.
For those in relationships, don't forget to be best friends and treat each other with respect. For those who are not in relationship, look for those qualities in a mate. Don't settle. Life is far too short, too hard and too rewarding when you're with the right person. I kissed a LOT of frogs before I met my prince, and he was totally worth the wait.
I could go on and on but I have a fruit salad to make before I go to bed, so I will bid you all adieu and wish you a wonderful day tomorrow.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sometimes life makes decisions for you...
It's kinda funny sometimes how life just has a way of making decisions for you when you least want it to, even tho' you need it.
Case in point. Money's really tight. We managed to overextend ourselves and I've been incredibly stressed out lately because of it. So we cut back here and there, tightened our belts and were deciding whether or not to suspend our satellite service. Problem in, I'm totally hooked on So You Think You Can Dance and they don't seem to carry it online. So I need a TV with service. We were going to just suspend our HD programming and stick with the basic service. We hemmed and hawed about the matter and were going to make a decision this weekend.
Until last night. Our 56" HD TV decided to blow a bulb. It's not just one bulb, it's the whole enchilada. And to replace it is about $400, which we don't have. So. Decision made. We're suspending our HD service. *sigh* But we still have our 29" in the bedroom with basic satellite. Because my job requires a lot of concentration, my way of chilling is to watch TV for an hour or so. Of course, an hour has become several so this will be a really good thing all the way around. I'll spend more time in the office and the living room. I'll have to make sure I spend time downstairs too because one of our cats doesn't really come upstairs. So I recline and read and put the music on downstairs and spend some time will Belly.
I might even spend more time with hubby if I can tear him away from the computer. :)
I hope you've had a great weekend ... our was good. Did some blogging, some gardening and went for dinner at friends last night. It's the way weekends are supposed to be spent.
Have a great upcoming week!
Case in point. Money's really tight. We managed to overextend ourselves and I've been incredibly stressed out lately because of it. So we cut back here and there, tightened our belts and were deciding whether or not to suspend our satellite service. Problem in, I'm totally hooked on So You Think You Can Dance and they don't seem to carry it online. So I need a TV with service. We were going to just suspend our HD programming and stick with the basic service. We hemmed and hawed about the matter and were going to make a decision this weekend.
Until last night. Our 56" HD TV decided to blow a bulb. It's not just one bulb, it's the whole enchilada. And to replace it is about $400, which we don't have. So. Decision made. We're suspending our HD service. *sigh* But we still have our 29" in the bedroom with basic satellite. Because my job requires a lot of concentration, my way of chilling is to watch TV for an hour or so. Of course, an hour has become several so this will be a really good thing all the way around. I'll spend more time in the office and the living room. I'll have to make sure I spend time downstairs too because one of our cats doesn't really come upstairs. So I recline and read and put the music on downstairs and spend some time will Belly.
I might even spend more time with hubby if I can tear him away from the computer. :)
I hope you've had a great weekend ... our was good. Did some blogging, some gardening and went for dinner at friends last night. It's the way weekends are supposed to be spent.
Have a great upcoming week!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Making it work at work.
It has recently come to my attention that in some people's opinions, my skirts are too short and tops too low cut. Sometimes. Not always. It's not like I wear skirts up to my butt and showing tons of cleavage (just a little hint, but apparently that's too much too). I don't have the body for it yet and even if I did, I'm 45 years old and I work in a business office.
2 of my best features are my legs and being very "blessed". My skirts are knee length with the exception of 1 dress which is probably a couple of inches abovec my knees. So I started wearing a cami under some of my tops which, I discovered, are actually too big for me. I kinda forgot along the way that although the scale says I've only lost 10 pounds, I've actually lost a lot of fat off my back and consequently, depending on the top, I actually need a L instead of XL. Cool. great. I love it. except that the majority of my tops are XL and I'm a little cash strapped for buying new clothes. So I make due with camis.
The skirts.... apparently sometimes the back is shorter than the front which is odd since I don't have big hips or much booty (altho' I'm working on it). I figure because of the style of skirt, when I sit down and forget to pull the back down when I get up, it's likely creased or riding, so I'll be more cognizant of that. No problem. I can deal with that. But I REFUSE to wear dowdy clothes.. I spent way too many years wearing schleppy, dowdy clothes that did nothing to flatter me. I'm feeling much better, back to the "old" me, and I refuse to go back. Gotta be stylish, fitted and flattering or I just won't do it.
My fav comment tho' was about my makeup. This is a little silly. I'm not done up like a streetwalker, or goth or anything extreme. There may have been a few days where my eye makeup was a little dark. And I LOVE red lipstick, altho' I've been mostly wearing a combo of a dark purple and a bright pink together ... awesome colour. Maybe this was in reference to when I was wearing gloss on top of the lip colour (I love, love, love MAC makeup and they have the coolest glosses).
The stupid thing is, I've been dealing with this most of my life. I'm not some quiet, shy, demure woman. I have a rather large presence which has nothing to do with my size. I always have. I don't apologize for that and I won't back down. I've fought way too hard to get "me" back. I like myself again.
Didn't mean this to become a rant. Hmm. Men don't have to deal with this shit. But I guess they have their own stuff they have to deal with. I have't done any outfit posts in a long time. I guess I'm due :) Thanks for "listening".
2 of my best features are my legs and being very "blessed". My skirts are knee length with the exception of 1 dress which is probably a couple of inches abovec my knees. So I started wearing a cami under some of my tops which, I discovered, are actually too big for me. I kinda forgot along the way that although the scale says I've only lost 10 pounds, I've actually lost a lot of fat off my back and consequently, depending on the top, I actually need a L instead of XL. Cool. great. I love it. except that the majority of my tops are XL and I'm a little cash strapped for buying new clothes. So I make due with camis.
The skirts.... apparently sometimes the back is shorter than the front which is odd since I don't have big hips or much booty (altho' I'm working on it). I figure because of the style of skirt, when I sit down and forget to pull the back down when I get up, it's likely creased or riding, so I'll be more cognizant of that. No problem. I can deal with that. But I REFUSE to wear dowdy clothes.. I spent way too many years wearing schleppy, dowdy clothes that did nothing to flatter me. I'm feeling much better, back to the "old" me, and I refuse to go back. Gotta be stylish, fitted and flattering or I just won't do it.
My fav comment tho' was about my makeup. This is a little silly. I'm not done up like a streetwalker, or goth or anything extreme. There may have been a few days where my eye makeup was a little dark. And I LOVE red lipstick, altho' I've been mostly wearing a combo of a dark purple and a bright pink together ... awesome colour. Maybe this was in reference to when I was wearing gloss on top of the lip colour (I love, love, love MAC makeup and they have the coolest glosses).
The stupid thing is, I've been dealing with this most of my life. I'm not some quiet, shy, demure woman. I have a rather large presence which has nothing to do with my size. I always have. I don't apologize for that and I won't back down. I've fought way too hard to get "me" back. I like myself again.
Didn't mean this to become a rant. Hmm. Men don't have to deal with this shit. But I guess they have their own stuff they have to deal with. I have't done any outfit posts in a long time. I guess I'm due :) Thanks for "listening".
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Versatile Blogger Award
I have been honoured by Sophia at Falling Off a High Heeled Life with the Versatile Blogger Award. I fell in love with this woman's blog. She's a fellow Canadian which is kinda cool. She is such an inspiration, I encourage you to check out her blog. Whenever I feel like life is tough, I read her blog and her attitude is so great, I instantly feel inspired and realize again (cause I know this) that my life is great, despite a few bumps here and there.
So the rules are .... 7 random things and pass on to others. So here goes ...
1) I'm an Aquarius - very typical one at that.
2) I sang, danced and acted in high school.
3) I survived the 80s....barely.
4) I work in an office as a commercial lease documentation specialist. I'm not sure how that happened. I should be a garden designer.
5) I cry at nothing sometimes.
6) I adore So You Think You Can Dance. The energy and enthusiasm. It never ceases to inspire me.
7) I'm rather impulsive.
I'm passing this award on to the following blogs:
Falling Off a High Heeled Life because you never cease to inspire me Sophia.
Life in Quotations because I have the most awesome hubby who I'm so very proud of.
Melanie's Randomness because I'm never quite sure what you're going to come out with.
Mad Madam Mim's Mimsy because you're just so off the wall Heather Rose and I love it!
Ms Arscott because I love your quick posts on all kinds of topics.
In fact I love all your blogs for so many different reasons. It's tough sometimes keeping up with everyone just know that you all mean something special to me.
Have an awesome day!
So the rules are .... 7 random things and pass on to others. So here goes ...
1) I'm an Aquarius - very typical one at that.
2) I sang, danced and acted in high school.
3) I survived the 80s....barely.
4) I work in an office as a commercial lease documentation specialist. I'm not sure how that happened. I should be a garden designer.
5) I cry at nothing sometimes.
6) I adore So You Think You Can Dance. The energy and enthusiasm. It never ceases to inspire me.
7) I'm rather impulsive.
I'm passing this award on to the following blogs:
Falling Off a High Heeled Life because you never cease to inspire me Sophia.
Life in Quotations because I have the most awesome hubby who I'm so very proud of.
Melanie's Randomness because I'm never quite sure what you're going to come out with.
Mad Madam Mim's Mimsy because you're just so off the wall Heather Rose and I love it!
Ms Arscott because I love your quick posts on all kinds of topics.
In fact I love all your blogs for so many different reasons. It's tough sometimes keeping up with everyone just know that you all mean something special to me.
Have an awesome day!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Panic Attacks
One of my fellow bloggers has been struggling with panic attacks. She doesn't want to take meds for them. I applaud her for that decision. Unless they are totally debilitating, I don't think they're necessary.
A number of years ago, I started to get them. I remember the first one. I was sitting on the GO train coming home from work. All of a sudden I started to feel short of breath, I started having mild chest pain, my arms started to ache and I started to feel nauseous. It really freeked me out. I wasn't travelling with anyone so I didn't know what to do. I just sat there and breathed deeply. I didn't think anything of it until I saw my chiropractor (also a good friend at the time) the next day. He told me to go see my doctor ... it sounded like a heart problems. THAT freeked me out. So I went. He listened to my heart, sent me for an EKG. It was a panic attack. He gave me a script for Atavan which I never filled.
They started happening from time to time. One day I was alone at home and it got so bad, I was about 5 minutes away from calling the ambulance. But I didn't. And it subsided. Now I can tell when one is going to happen. I just breath deeply and slowly and talk myself into staying calm. It works.
About 4 years ago, we were working on the renovations, the house in an upheaval, and there was a rapid knock on the front door. Our next door neighbour, who I think was 14 or 15 at the time, was in the middle of a panic attack. I've never seen one, only experienced one. He thought he was having a heart attack. I managed to talk him down, to get him calm. I told him I had been through it and I survived. I don't think he ever forgot it 'cause he's really great with me.
Apparently horrormones and diet have a lot to do with it. Anyone going through life stages is susceptible to them. Puberty, menopause. Since I started exercising and eating healthier (he has too), I rarely get them. Sometimes I get heart palpitations, but that's usually from too much caffeine.
So to anyone who experiences panic attacks, I understand what you're going through. It is possible to overcome them without medication. Exercise, healthy diet, lots of water and relaxation techniques all help. And if you need someone to talk to, just email me at sandysgettingfit@gmail.com . I don't have all the answers but I can certainly lend some support.
Wishing all good mental health ... and panic-free days.
A number of years ago, I started to get them. I remember the first one. I was sitting on the GO train coming home from work. All of a sudden I started to feel short of breath, I started having mild chest pain, my arms started to ache and I started to feel nauseous. It really freeked me out. I wasn't travelling with anyone so I didn't know what to do. I just sat there and breathed deeply. I didn't think anything of it until I saw my chiropractor (also a good friend at the time) the next day. He told me to go see my doctor ... it sounded like a heart problems. THAT freeked me out. So I went. He listened to my heart, sent me for an EKG. It was a panic attack. He gave me a script for Atavan which I never filled.
They started happening from time to time. One day I was alone at home and it got so bad, I was about 5 minutes away from calling the ambulance. But I didn't. And it subsided. Now I can tell when one is going to happen. I just breath deeply and slowly and talk myself into staying calm. It works.
About 4 years ago, we were working on the renovations, the house in an upheaval, and there was a rapid knock on the front door. Our next door neighbour, who I think was 14 or 15 at the time, was in the middle of a panic attack. I've never seen one, only experienced one. He thought he was having a heart attack. I managed to talk him down, to get him calm. I told him I had been through it and I survived. I don't think he ever forgot it 'cause he's really great with me.
Apparently horrormones and diet have a lot to do with it. Anyone going through life stages is susceptible to them. Puberty, menopause. Since I started exercising and eating healthier (he has too), I rarely get them. Sometimes I get heart palpitations, but that's usually from too much caffeine.
So to anyone who experiences panic attacks, I understand what you're going through. It is possible to overcome them without medication. Exercise, healthy diet, lots of water and relaxation techniques all help. And if you need someone to talk to, just email me at sandysgettingfit@gmail.com . I don't have all the answers but I can certainly lend some support.
Wishing all good mental health ... and panic-free days.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Update on Sister's Surgery
I believe I've mentioned before that my sister is going for bariatric surgery soon. Well, first it was going to be Sept. 2nd. Then it was July 28. Now it's settled ... Tuesday, June 22, 2010 is D-Day. S-Day actually. I'm very, very excited for her. Not only will they do the bariatric surgery, but the main purpose is to have her gall bladder removed which has been causing no end of pain for months and months and only getting worse. She's been through a bunch of crap getting this set up. But it's only been 6 or 7 months ... I know some people are 12-14 months up here.
I hadn't seen her in 3 years and the way she had been talking I expected to see a much larger woman than the one I saw. My whole family has struggled with our weight for many, many years. We all tend to be pretty solid tho' which I think is a good thing. But regardless of how she looks, it's how it's affecting her health and her life. I am so excited at the prospect of her finally getting the weight off and being able to do the things she used to be able to do. Of course with a heart condition (it's HOCM .. hypertropic obstructive cardiomyopathy) she won't likely be running any marathons even once she gets the excess weight off, but just to be able to walk without a cane, to get back into the garden, to go shopping without getting winded. Stuff I take for granted. Even tho' I struggle with my weight, I don't have any underlying health issues other than asthma which is pretty much under control.
So I've asked for the day off and unfortunately it's the day before the G20 takes over Toronto. Much of my company is working from home, including me (hallelujah) ... I'm at 25 documents and counting that I'll be working on drafting and there's still 2 more weeks before G20. But my manager's pretty cool and she said we'll play it by ear 'cause she knows it important to me. I don't see any issues so I'm going on the assumption that I'll be at the hospital that day. Fretting. Whether there's reason or not to, I'll be fretting. With her daughter (R) and R's 4 year old twins (D&D).
I know she'll be fine. She has to. be I won't let her be otherwise. I just won't. But I'm a fretter.
Anyway, I just wanted to bring you up to date, thank you in advance for your support. Good night.
I hadn't seen her in 3 years and the way she had been talking I expected to see a much larger woman than the one I saw. My whole family has struggled with our weight for many, many years. We all tend to be pretty solid tho' which I think is a good thing. But regardless of how she looks, it's how it's affecting her health and her life. I am so excited at the prospect of her finally getting the weight off and being able to do the things she used to be able to do. Of course with a heart condition (it's HOCM .. hypertropic obstructive cardiomyopathy) she won't likely be running any marathons even once she gets the excess weight off, but just to be able to walk without a cane, to get back into the garden, to go shopping without getting winded. Stuff I take for granted. Even tho' I struggle with my weight, I don't have any underlying health issues other than asthma which is pretty much under control.
So I've asked for the day off and unfortunately it's the day before the G20 takes over Toronto. Much of my company is working from home, including me (hallelujah) ... I'm at 25 documents and counting that I'll be working on drafting and there's still 2 more weeks before G20. But my manager's pretty cool and she said we'll play it by ear 'cause she knows it important to me. I don't see any issues so I'm going on the assumption that I'll be at the hospital that day. Fretting. Whether there's reason or not to, I'll be fretting. With her daughter (R) and R's 4 year old twins (D&D).
I know she'll be fine. She has to. be I won't let her be otherwise. I just won't. But I'm a fretter.
Anyway, I just wanted to bring you up to date, thank you in advance for your support. Good night.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Struggling to be consistent ... and my inspiration
The past few weeks have been challenging. Between getting the gardens ready and preparing for the wedding, everything else kinda went out the window. I was getting to bed too late, not being able to get to sleep early enough, therefore not getting up early. I worked out periodically for several weeks.
I have since regrouped, took new photos and tomorrow morning I'll take my measurements. So today is Week 1, Day 1 of my 12 week goals, which will take me to shortly before S&B's wedding. I've been doing this since March 09. I think I got a little complacent. I think it became a little too predictable...too routine. So I need to shake things up a bit. Perhaps just my attitude.
Barry hasn't been weight training in the past month, but he has been fairly consistent with his cardio work. He's been doing cardio while I've been doing gardening and wedding stuff. Even when I didn't think he was going to, he got changed and hit the gazelle for at least 45 minutes. He's been an inspiration to me when I was having a lot of trouble getting my ass out of bed in the mornings.
When I'm stressed or upset I tend to eat and I tend to blow off workouts. One of the Body for Life Lessons talks about overcoming adversity. Adversity can take so many different forms. Whether it's health issues, finances, work, it's not what happens to us ... it's how we handle it. Unfortunately I haven't been handling it very well. Every time I read it that Lesson for Life, something seems to happen to test my resolve. I haven't been passing the test, which I suppose is why I keep getting tested. I've been so stressed the past couple of weeks; it seems to be subsiding, at least for now.
Perhaps I need to set new goals. I've set the same ones for over a year. Haven't attained any of them yet. But I never stop trying. Food seems to be my biggest issue. Or maybe it's my head. I'm not sure. All I know, is that I've made some progress. I've made a commitment to myself to get into great shape. I can't fall down. I have to make it. I've failed far too many times. I won't do it again.
I woke up this morning (Sunday) at 5 A.M. thank you very much. Tossed and turned for 3 hours, then got up. Normally I'd work out before breakfast but mentally I just couldn't. I finally did my workout at 3:30 p.m. Even tho' the conditions weren't just right, I took a page out of B's book and did it anyway.
And I"m back to blogging and visiting others and actually leaving comments, trying to encourage others. Your support has meant so much to me.
Today is Day #1. I start to take back my life.
I have since regrouped, took new photos and tomorrow morning I'll take my measurements. So today is Week 1, Day 1 of my 12 week goals, which will take me to shortly before S&B's wedding. I've been doing this since March 09. I think I got a little complacent. I think it became a little too predictable...too routine. So I need to shake things up a bit. Perhaps just my attitude.
Barry hasn't been weight training in the past month, but he has been fairly consistent with his cardio work. He's been doing cardio while I've been doing gardening and wedding stuff. Even when I didn't think he was going to, he got changed and hit the gazelle for at least 45 minutes. He's been an inspiration to me when I was having a lot of trouble getting my ass out of bed in the mornings.
When I'm stressed or upset I tend to eat and I tend to blow off workouts. One of the Body for Life Lessons talks about overcoming adversity. Adversity can take so many different forms. Whether it's health issues, finances, work, it's not what happens to us ... it's how we handle it. Unfortunately I haven't been handling it very well. Every time I read it that Lesson for Life, something seems to happen to test my resolve. I haven't been passing the test, which I suppose is why I keep getting tested. I've been so stressed the past couple of weeks; it seems to be subsiding, at least for now.
Perhaps I need to set new goals. I've set the same ones for over a year. Haven't attained any of them yet. But I never stop trying. Food seems to be my biggest issue. Or maybe it's my head. I'm not sure. All I know, is that I've made some progress. I've made a commitment to myself to get into great shape. I can't fall down. I have to make it. I've failed far too many times. I won't do it again.
I woke up this morning (Sunday) at 5 A.M. thank you very much. Tossed and turned for 3 hours, then got up. Normally I'd work out before breakfast but mentally I just couldn't. I finally did my workout at 3:30 p.m. Even tho' the conditions weren't just right, I took a page out of B's book and did it anyway.
And I"m back to blogging and visiting others and actually leaving comments, trying to encourage others. Your support has meant so much to me.
Today is Day #1. I start to take back my life.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Wedding Bliss
One of my best friends got married last Saturday. We've been friends about 4 1/2 years; met at work. We bonded over St. Lawrence Market, interior decorating (our homes are decorated in very similar colours), gardening. We figured we're twins, separated at birth and 15 years. LOL
J's mom died about 5 1/2 years ago and J was really missing her through this process. She didn't have a mom or even a sister to help her. Even tho' she had 4 attendants, she didn't have anyone to co-ordinate the way day. She was going to hire a wedding co-ordinator, so I volunteered. OMG I did not know what I was getting myself into.
First there was the delay in getting my hair done. His first appointment was 30 minutes late. I was stressed, but everything actually worked out for the better. Then there was the traffic jams. Then we got to the venue; the wedding was set for 3; we got there at 2 to set up. And guests were already there! I got a little thrown off my game.
On to the ceremony ... it was very nice, very succinct. It was a civil ceremony so it only took about 10-15 minutes. Then it was off to the receiving line and then pictures. The wedding was at a restaurant in this series of old buildings with some really cool features so the photos were taken there. At one point, there was a group of people at the park across the street. They looked like so much fun so we had them join us. Blue was already with us. Stilt walkers joined us ....
J's mom died about 5 1/2 years ago and J was really missing her through this process. She didn't have a mom or even a sister to help her. Even tho' she had 4 attendants, she didn't have anyone to co-ordinate the way day. She was going to hire a wedding co-ordinator, so I volunteered. OMG I did not know what I was getting myself into.
First there was the delay in getting my hair done. His first appointment was 30 minutes late. I was stressed, but everything actually worked out for the better. Then there was the traffic jams. Then we got to the venue; the wedding was set for 3; we got there at 2 to set up. And guests were already there! I got a little thrown off my game.
On to the ceremony ... it was very nice, very succinct. It was a civil ceremony so it only took about 10-15 minutes. Then it was off to the receiving line and then pictures. The wedding was at a restaurant in this series of old buildings with some really cool features so the photos were taken there. At one point, there was a group of people at the park across the street. They looked like so much fun so we had them join us. Blue was already with us. Stilt walkers joined us ....
This is me and my girl.
There was some excitement towards the end of the night, but I don't think she ever found out which is what my goal was. All in all, it was a great day, that went by so fast.
Don't you just love weddings?
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